WilliamPennmanship

A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)

Friday, July 31, 2015

Pat Burrell enters Phillies Wall of Fame as a Giant


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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

SEPTA partnering with Pennsylvania Lottery to create scratch-off tickets for Papal Pass regional rail lottery

Reveal twelve Pope Mobiles and win a chance to purchase a SEPTA Papal Pass.

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Monday, July 13, 2015

Two weeks after festival man in charge of inflating giant duck still in local hospital with severe lightheadedness


Philly.com

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Thursday, July 9, 2015

Embiid tweets image of foot X-ray: Sixers, fans, foot screwed


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Saturday, July 4, 2015

Mayor insists that ad to 'come celebrate town's 241st Fourth of July parade' is no typo

"We declared our independence on July 4, 1774. Yep, we were the first--and actually had an elaborate parade that day--but it cost us dearly. About half the town was shot down by the creek the next morning."
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About Me

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In 1656, a twelve-year-old William Penn graduated from London's most prestigious penmanship school: Thames on the Thames Academy of Penmanship, an exclusive institute that to this day develops the penmanship of promising young students. The future founder of Pennsylvania and Philadelphia received top honors and in 1684 the Academy created the William Pennmanship Scholarship for Excellent Pennmanship. When I was 14 years old, I came in sixth place in an elementary school penmanship competition (admittedly, I had trouble with w's and lower case t's) and my jubilant parents applied to the Thames on Thames Academy on my behalf. The school initially waitlisted me and eventually sent a letter--with the best penmanship I have ever seen--explaining that at this time they didn't feel that I met "Thames standards." However, if I so desired, I could practice my w's and t's during the upcoming year and reapply in the fall. I never did reapply.
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