WilliamPennmanship

A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)

Friday, November 14, 2014

'Things are going pretty good,' says man who just cut open toothpaste tube to get last bit of toothpaste...then probably use as shot glass

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About Me

BroadandMarket: In 1656, a twelve-year-old William Penn graduated from London's most prestigious penmanship school: Thames on the Thames Academy of Penmanship, an exclusive institute that to this day develops the penmanship of promising young students. The future founder of Pennsylvania and Philadelphia received top honors and in 1684 the Academy created the William Pennmanship Scholarship for Excellent Pennmanship. When I was 14 years old, I came in sixth place in an elementary school penmanship competition (admittedly, I had trouble with w's and lower case t's) and my jubilant parents applied to the Thames on Thames Academy on my behalf. The school initially waitlisted me and eventually sent a letter--with the best penmanship I have ever seen--explaining that at this time they didn't feel that I met "Thames standards." However, if I so desired, I could practice my w's and t's during the upcoming year and reapply in the fall. I never did reapply.

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