Thursday, March 28, 2013

Siren song of the Barclays Center: Devils, Rangers, Knicks moving to Brooklyn

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Brooklyn--Move over Nets. Watch your step Islanders. A few new housemates are moving in. The brand new Barclays Center is apparently the p...
Friday, March 22, 2013

Plan to construct skyscrapers surrounding Valley Forge Park moving forward

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Valley Forge, Pa.--Wow! It's official. Some how, some way, it's official. A plan that appears to turn the already traffic-clogged...
Thursday, March 21, 2013

Rectangular conference room table definitely affected vibe during roundtable discussion

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"I don't know," said Russell Ballard, when asked about the atmosphere at the meeting. "I can't say specifically, bu...
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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Document found near Eagles' practice facility calls for 'Voltron approach to free agency'

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South Philadelphia--The 32-page document, titled "The Voltron Approach to Free Agency," outlines the franchise's plan...
Sunday, March 17, 2013

College basketball fan, using tiny pen, will be first ever to fill out entire NCAA tournament bracket on actual metal mounting bracket

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Limerick Nuclear Power Plant assures public that bright green Schuylkill River is a St. Patrick's Day stunt, but leaving area 'would not be a bad idea'

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Above: A kayaker makes his way along the bright green Schuylkill River near Kelly Drive yesterday. The river was a vivid green from the ...
Saturday, March 9, 2013

Ship captain: 'I had planned to go down with her, but I have little patience for a sinking that drags on like that. I mean, c'mon.'

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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

CIA: Strict regime? Two N. Koreans missing after caught clapping out of sync at Globetrotter game

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Popemobile: What the new Pope needs to know

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Click on image to zoom and read facts.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013

High Line fallout continues: Director stepping down after reintroducing freight trains to elevated park

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Manhattan--The decision to reintroduce freight trains to the hugely popular High Line park on the island's West Side was not without ...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Pretty sneaky, sis: NHL uses new four-division realignment plan to inform several teams league is contracting

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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Home Depot claims slow winter sales forced early launch of new Lou Diamond Phillips head screwdriver

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Atlanta, GA--Dragging winter sales has forced Home Depot to launch the Lou Diamond Phillips head screwdriver earlier than expected. The...
Thursday, February 21, 2013

Pistorius crime scene investigators all thinking same thing: Bright yellow autographed vuvuzela in upstairs hallway 'pretty cool looking'

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Sunday, February 17, 2013

Texas finally cracking down on guns: New legislation would prevent gun vending machines from accepting credit cards

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Austin, TX--Protesters rallying outside the Texas State Capitol last week were outraged over a proposed bill that would prevent makers of ...
Thursday, February 14, 2013

Stranded Carnival Cruise Ship: Conditions worsen as poop deck literally becomes poop deck

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Monday, February 11, 2013

Amtrak reports snow-clearing train slowly (very slowly) making way through Connecticut, passengers getting free coffee

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Milford, CT--The 2013 blizzard--Nemo, to the good folks at the Weather Channel--is gone, but the dig-out for much of New England continues....
Sunday, February 10, 2013

Residents of town just missed by blizzard uploading thousands of photos to internet anyway

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Saturday, February 9, 2013

Town says blizzard of '78 taught very valuable lesson about dumping snow into river, but can't remember what it was

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The town remembers dumping the snow, but cannot recall the "invaluable" lesson learned from disposing the crippling amounts of p...
Thursday, February 7, 2013

Jacksonville Police question preschooler accused of designing Jaguars new logo

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Divers discovered a Crayola 64-pack at the bottom of a pond just down the road from the child's residence.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Report: New Orleans, NFL under heavy scrutiny after shutting down several pumping stations to restore power to Superdome

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New Orleans--Shortly after the second half of the Super Bowl began on Sunday night nearly all of the overhead lights on the 42-year-old Su...
Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Was Wing Bowl winner showing off by also devouring most of the wing bones during chaotic eating competition?

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Above: "The Bear" wins the popular wing eating contest known as Wing Bowl in South Philadelphia on Friday. The champion devoured...
Saturday, February 2, 2013

Super Bowl: Harbaugh parents unfortunately use national spotlight (and terrible timing) to announce plans for divorce

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Above: Jack and Jackie Harbaugh, parents of the two brother head coaches facing off against each other in the Super Bowl, share a laugh du...
Friday, February 1, 2013

Report: Normally reserved Joe Flacco to perform Sloppy Swish during player introductions at Super Bowl

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New Orleans--Ravens head coach John Harbaugh says there is no truth to the rumor that his quarterback, Joe Flacco, who is a self-proclaime...
Wednesday, January 30, 2013

NFL investigating why Chip Kelly left time spent at Southern New Hampshire University, as offensive coordinator of an online freshman football team, off resume

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Philadelphia--The  SNHU online squad, whose only opponent was a freshman team at the University of Phoenix, went 1-10 against the Arizona-...
Tuesday, January 29, 2013

President of Portugal calls Garrett McNamara 'the craziest son of a bitch on the planet who is welcome anytime in my country'

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Above: Big-wave surfer Garrett McNamara rides a giant wave off the Portuguese coast north of Lisbon. The wave is believed to be the larg...
Monday, January 28, 2013

Photoshopped: National Geographic photographer breaks under interrogation, admits adding '3 or 4 spots' to sea leopard in award-winning image

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Saturday, January 26, 2013

Flyers ready for franchise's first day-night doubleheader in Florida

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Sunrise, FL--The Philadelphia Flyers, already depleted by injuries and looking up in the standings, face a tough stretch in the schedule, ...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013

New eHarmony televison commercial uses Te'o as a verb

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Paranoid online dating sites are racing to repair perceived damage caused by the Te'o girlfriend hoax via television and print ads.
Monday, January 21, 2013

Seeking 'any publicity whatsoever,' NHL claims full responsibility for Te'o hoax

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"Yeah, it was all us," said one NHL official. "Our bad. We did it. Yep, the whole thing. We're very sorry. Now, just show...
Friday, January 18, 2013

Oprah claims Armstrong opened up a 'little too much' during exclusive interview: 'The testicle in the jar on my mantel at home is plastic, I keep the real testicle in a safe in the billiards room.'

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Though the interview has yet to air between the troubled ex-seven-time Tour de France winner and media mogul Oprah Winfrey, snippets of th...