Tuesday, June 24, 2014

World Cup: ESPN analyst admits to shaving during each commercial break

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Monday, June 23, 2014

World Cup: ESPN's new soccer ball cameras forcing television viewers to take motion sickness medication

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Dramamine purchases every remaining commercial slot for conclusion of tournament. The sports network claims that if players were striking t...
Friday, June 20, 2014

World Cup: Belgian referee spotted covering waffles with new marking spray foam in darkened corner of Sao Paulo restaurant

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Director Marty Di Bergi wants shot at remaking World Cup broadcast player introductions--'the arm folding part'

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The This is Spinal Tap  director claims his arm folding work in the below clip--specifically, the 0:42 second mark--speaks for itself. ...

World Cup: Klinsmann goal celebrations included repeated shouts of 'sprockets, sprockets, sprockets'

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Concert goers spend entire performance avoiding beach tag checkers at renovated, sandy Festival Pier

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At one point during the concert the entire audience entered the Delaware River--scaling a chain link fence in the process--in an effort to ...
Monday, June 9, 2014

Stanley Cup Final: Mark Messier guarantees a game four, not a victory, but just that a game four will be played

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The former Rangers captain, who once promised a game six victory over the New Jersey Devils in the 1994 semi-finals, swears he made the gua...
Saturday, June 7, 2014

Sumo wrestler caught up in Triple Crown frenzy wondering how different life would be if he had accepted 'very generous' jockey scholarship out of high school

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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Budweiser Clydesdales (and full beer wagon) gracefully pulverize all eight jumps during Devon Horse Show exhibition

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The full hitch has never completed a successful jump, but the crew "certainly loves to try each year." Budweiser covers the costs...
Friday, May 30, 2014

Lazy Gehry? Art Museum's two tower expansion plan nearly identical to famed architect's Bilbao design

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The world-renowned architect later admitted: "Okay, okay, yes, I may have borrowed some elements from my Guggenheim design. Okay, alri...
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Blake Bortles joining with LeBron James to launch world's first wine cooler sports drink: Bortles & James

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The new alcoholic sports beverage will replace depleted electrolytes and give athletes "a pretty good buzz." Television ads will r...
Saturday, May 24, 2014

California Chrome abruptly withdraws from Devon Horse Show

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Devon, PA--In a not so surprising move, California Chrome, winner of this year's Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes, just two weeks b...
Friday, May 23, 2014

Klinsmann: 'Niemals kritisieren Oktoberfest, Mercedes, BMW, oder Volkswagen'

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The head coach of the U.S. men's national soccer team, Jurgen Klinsmann, claims he overheard Landon Donovan, a surprise omission from th...
Thursday, May 22, 2014

Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby pedaling into Lincoln Financial Field in 2015?

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The festival that celebrates moving art and non-motorized transportation could be held at the Linc for the next five years--but with no mud...
Saturday, May 17, 2014

Disney wanted to make 'Million Dollar Baby Arm' but could not get PG rating

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The studio was forced to change the tragic ending already filmed and drop 'Baby' from title to lose the PG-13 rating given by the M...
Friday, May 16, 2014

Several Braves employees hospitalized after attempting to show new suburban stadium site is 'definitively walkable' from downtown Atlanta

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Cobb County, GA--The Braves will unveil a new, suburban stadium in 2017, fleeing Turner Field--a product of the 1996 Olympics--and the cit...
Thursday, May 15, 2014

Brooklyn Nets harshly criticized for wearing 'We Did It: Took the Heat to 5 Games' t-shirts after losing to Miami 4-1

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The team said it was "only a joke" and that losing to the Heat was "extremely disappointing." Fans, however, were very ...
Wednesday, May 14, 2014

6ABC scrambles to find host for live broadcast of Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby after Kelly Ripa backs out

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Saturday, May 10, 2014

NFL Draft: Scout now sort of wishing he didn't visit Indiana State Corn Museum instead of attending NFL Combine

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New York City--A first-year NFL scout with an NFC West team admitted yesterday--the second day of the NFL Draft--that he probably should h...
Friday, May 9, 2014

Jaguars' front office doing one final round of shots before informing all draft picks that team is moving to Donetsk

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Cleveland drafts Manziel: QB inquires about NFL's work-from-home policy

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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

PHL officials claim $6.4 billion expansion will allow airport to lose 30% more luggage in coming years

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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Struggling artist regularly mistakes old lithium battery on desk for quarter

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"I'll look on my coffee table or desk from afar and get all psyched that I have enough change for that small bag of chips or a pa...
Monday, April 28, 2014

Should dog-friendly, enclosed area with lots of dogs be designated a dog park?

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"The fenced-in space has poop bag dispensers, dog water bowls, benches for owners, an area for big dogs, an area for small dogs, artif...
Saturday, April 26, 2014

Cubs give Sosa incorret address on invitation for Wrigley Field's 100th Anniversary celebration

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"The invitation said the Wrigley Field 100th Anniversary celebration and festivities would be held at the White Sox' stadium on t...
Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Happy 100th, Wrigley Field: Cubs announce plans for new Wrigley Dome--The Friendly Indoor/Outdoor Confines

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Chicago--Wrigley Dome, a baseball-only, retractable-roof stadium, to be constructed on the present site of Wrigley Field on West Addison ...
Tuesday, April 15, 2014

PATCO to use train ferry service over summer while both Ben Franklin Bridge tracks udergo reconstruction

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Above: A multi-car passenger train boards a ferry in Puttgarden, Denmark. The Port Authority Transit Corporation (PATCO) will use a simila...
Monday, April 14, 2014

Suit Corner owner to now 'focus all energy' on Jorts Corner

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Saturday, April 12, 2014

MH370: Michael Richards apologizes for 'No Ping heard since 1990s' remark made at LA comedy club

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Saturday, April 5, 2014

MLB: Original rooftop bleachers at Shibe Park 'thoroughly' complied with all modern safety standards

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Above: Railings and fire exits were "Photoshopped out of the historic 1914 Shibe Park image for aesthetic purposes." A Major Lea...