A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Gracious host: London considering letting Olympic visitors drive on either side of road
'We want tourists to drive on whatever side of the road they feel most comfortable. It's a no-brainer,' said one city official.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Stubborn veteran catcher prefers pitcher come to home plate when discussing strategy
'I used to go out to the mound ... when I was an idiot and didn't know any better.'
Monday, May 14, 2012
N.H.L.'s last 'sneaker referee' simply wants to fit in
Above: Sneaker Ref Billy O'Sullivan charges up the ice to follow the play between the Sharks and the Blues. |
St. Louis--Billy O'Sullivan doesn't like to stand out. In fact, the 16-year N.H.L. veteran referee usually goes out of his way to blend in with the crowd. A quiet father of three and a native of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, his head-down and say-nothing-controversial approach has served him well in the planet's best ice hockey league. Yet, fans and players would never know this--his disdain for standing out--by watching O'Sullivan perform his job.
Attempting to soothe his pre-playoff game nerves he jokes around with the two other officials in the comfortable referees' room in the bowels of the Scottrade Center before finishing a semi-green banana. The game, only thirty or so minutes away, will be his 300th post-season appearance and the league plans to recognize the accomplishment with a brief JumboTron video highlight reel (for a ref?). He hates to stand out.
He calmly tosses the banana peel into the waste basket. He is ready. When the three men stand--all similar in height in shoes--and exit the mahogany-covered room to make their way to the ice for the matchup between the Sharks and Blues, O'Sullivan, much to his chagrin, noticeably stands out. He is all the sudden the shortest of the three ... by far.
You see, O'Sullivan is the last of the "Sneaker Refs" from the late 1990s. He has earned a nickname from his peers: Last of the Mo-sneakens. During the latter part of that decade, N.H.L. officials, many seeking to reduce the risks of retirement aches and pains, pushed comfort over quality and nearly 70 percent of the referee workforce dropped skates for sneakers.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Police raid 76ers intern's apartment, discover hordes of Chicago Bulls voodoo dolls
Intern claims: 'I studied history at Tulane and nothing else, I swear.' Detectives will not say which Bull will be injured today.
Friday, May 4, 2012
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