Mall in the Sky Item: The Garden Yeti—scare your weeds away

Spring is right around the corner and before you know it your garden will be ready for aerating, weeding and planting. Whether you grow flowers, vegetables or carrots your garden needs protecting from mother nature’s natural predators—squirrels, cats, deer, rodents, muskrats, dogs, rabbits, muskmoles and muskraccoons.

You’ve tried the hollowed out, plastic owl for years only to see it become a perch for other birds and covered in grotesque droppings. Sure those droppings find a way to the soil and act as a great natural fertilizer, but the birds constant feeding on your newly planted seeds can devastate a home garden.

Introducing the Garden Yeti Statue: A 365/24/7 watchman for your patch of green paradise. The Garden Yeti was developed by Canadians, perfected by the Mongolians and manufactured by the Chinese.

Though the Yeti doesn’t move (some customers swear it does) it can be difficult to spot. At an unimposing 28 inches and 12 lbs, the Sasquatch can blend in with its surroundings or scare the pellets out of a rabbit or deer.

The Garden Yeti not only watches for unwanted wildlife but also useless plant life such as weeds.

“I did not read the fine print on the box and had no idea the Garden Big Foot prevented weed growth,” said Denise Roberts, 58, of Fox Chase, Pa. “My neighbors all commented on my garden’s lack of weeds last year and I attributed it to the 2,4-dichlorophenoxyacetic acid, my weed killer of choice. All along it was the garden Yeti that was scaring the weeds away.”

Winter takes its toll on your yard. Would you like to replace the old, faded mulch around your trees or gardens? The Yeti will scare old mulch away and provide a safe, comfortable place for your new liquorice root mulch.


As stated previously the Yeti does not move, nor does it make noise or encompass any internal mechanical device. Despite this, government regulations require any yard ornament greater than 10 lbs to use batteries. The Yeti calls for 56 AA batteries, 25 of which are included with your purchase.

The Garden Yeti does need to be registered with your local police department and finger printed as stated in Bill 34RHL873 passed by the United States Congress in May of 2007.

So go ahead, be the talk of your neighborhood and invite this friendly statue into your yard today.

Mall in the Sky Item: Thermostone Rock Car Covers

Rock covers have been used for years to hide anything from unsightly utility pipes, garden hoses, deceased pets, and even real rocks that are to heavy and cumbersome to move, but don't provide the ideal "fake rock" look for your landscaped yard.

Well, the list of items to hide just got even larger. That's right! You can now purchase the extra large rock covers to hide your own clunker or even a neighbor's hideous jalopy.

Carol Becks of Downingtown, PA, and her family, recently went from neighborhood outcast to neighborhood un-outcast. Several months ago the family was the recipient of an anonymous letter asking them to park their rusted 1982 white Datsun 210 station wagon in the garage. The letter went on to say that children were scared and local wildlife had retreated from the area.

"I think the letter was taking two shots at our family. Yes, our car has seen better days, I'll admit that. But, the fact is, we don't even have a garage," said Becks.

After purchasing her new rock car cover three weeks ago neighborhood children (and some from adjacent communities) come to her driveway by the droves. The large cover has also lured wildlife that the area, and in some cases North America, hasn't seen in years.

"It really just looks as if there is an extra large rock parked in my driveway. But children are playing on it and deer and hawks have made a nice home as well. Who would have thought?" said Becks.

During the snow storm the area received two weeks ago there was a line of 20-30 children down the driveway waiting to go sledding. Though she has had the cover a short time the manufacturer has assured Becks that the top of the rock cover should remain snow-capped year round.

Becks' neighbor, Jim Ramirez, is determined to climb to the top once spring arrives in the Delaware Valley. Ramirez, 39, is an experienced climber who summited K2 in the summer of 2007.

"It's high," Ramirez said, referring to the rock cover,"But I'm starting my planning and training now and hope to be ready by early May. The fact that it's hollow will only make the climb more arduous."

Becks still uses her Datsun 210 station wagon everyday and uncovering the car requires the help of her husband, Dan, toddler son, Jacob, and a tire jack.


Over the weekend, while raising the cover up for a trip to the supermarket, an ibex (pictured) came tumbling down the cover and into the driveway.

"We didn't see the ibex. I swear. It must have lost its balance when we raised the cover. He wasn't hurt at all. Then it just ran into the woods behind our house," said Becks.