Polar Vortex: 'Ice Road Truckers' cancels filming for drive from Chicago to Michigan over Lake Michigan: ice is too thick, 'absolutely' no drama

Nik Wallenda to walk tightrope stretched between the 41 North Broad St light poles...while eating a cheesesteak

Philadelphia--High-wire extraordinaire Nik Wallenda will attempt to walk a tightrope over a 2.5-mile segment of North Broad Street sometime in the spring of 2019. The world-renowned acrobat called conquering the forty-one, 55-ft tall posts "a challenge that would surpass my Niagara Falls stunt" in 2012. Wallenda said the final details will be worked out in the coming weeks, but that he may attempt the walk without a balancing pole or, if challenged in court, with only a two-foot-long balancing pole. The other possibility is using an extra-large cheesesteak as a balancing pole and slowly consuming it during the walk. Pat's, Geno's, and Jim's have all reportedly met with the high-wire walker and offered to name a steak: the Wallenda Wit.

Local developer uses 'opera-tunity' 26 times during press conference unveiling redeveloped opera house

Philadelphia--The Opera House on North Broad Street has a new life as the Met Philadelphia: a 3,500-seat theater for all kinds of entertainment. Built in 1908 by Oscar Hammerstein, the theater sits at Broad Street and Poplar Street. Large crowds recently gathered at the site during the ribbon-cutting ceremony. "It's such an amazing building," said the local developer in charge of revamping the historic structure. "I looked at it and thought it was such a great opera-tunity." There was a smattering of chuckles across the audience of media members and politicians seated in the gleaming new lobby. "It's such an honor to bring a building such as this one back to life--a real...opera-tunity. The Delaware Valley and beyond will have the opera-tunity to see a wide range of shows at this beautiful facility." The final count of "opera-tunity" reached twenty-six by the time the developer finished addressing the audience.

Rhule's appearance on 'Fixer Upper' hinted at move to Baylor

Waco, Texas--Two weeks ago, former Temple University head football coach, Matt Rhule, appeared on the hit HGTV show "Fixer Upper." The home makeover show is based in and around Waco--the home of Baylor University. Rhule left Temple earlier this week to become the head coach at the Waco university. The episode featured Rhule searching for, and purchasing a fixer upper as "an investment property" in the Waco area. Chip Gaines, one of the co-hosts of the show, and Rhule each wear headsets throughout the episode and run several football plays in the front yard at the end of the show. Co-host Joanna Gaines asks several times, "You sure you're not moving down here?" And Rhule responds, "This is just an investment property." Yesterday, the former Penn State linebacker said that he would move into the house from the episode, but that "it really was an investment property."

Dorenbos originally planned to audition for AGT as long snapper, not magician

"I went into [America's Got Talent] to show my talents as a long snapper. You know, just snapping the football. But my act would have been the same each week...so I went with magic," said Philadelphia Eagles' long snapper Jon Dorenbos.

Image: NYTimes.com

Scheduling conflict: Andrea Bocelli concert to be played between 2nd & 3rd periods of Stanley Cup Final game 3

San Jose, CA--After eighteen hours of intense negotiations, recording artist Andrea Bocelli and the NHL's San Jose Sharks came up with a compromise to the scheduling conflict at the SAP Center for Saturday, June 4. Bocelli is scheduled to perform at the nearly 18,000-seat arena on this night, but the deep playoff run by the Sharks into the Stanley Cup Final--their first-ever appearance--now has the team hosting the Pittsburgh Penguins on the same date. The two sides have agreed to both play in the center on the same night. At the conclusion of the second period, hockey fans will exit the building to make way for Bocelli concert ticketholders. The Italian tenor will play for thirty-five minutes, then, after a likely extended encore, the SAP will be emptied again for Sharks fans to re-enter for the third period. "It will probably be about an hour and fifteen minutes of intermission time," said one nervous NHL official. "It's going to be tricky, but we'll pull it off."

Sixers announce 'Tank' Night for March 17

Philadelphia--The Sixers announced the latest addition to the 2015-16 promotional schedule at the Wells Fargo Center will take place on March 17, versus the Washington Wizards. No, not green backboards or green rims to celebrate St Patrick's Day. Rather, to mark the 32nd anniversary of the release of the critically acclaimed film Tank, the Sixes will hold "Tank Night." On March 16, 1984, Tank hit the big screen featuring stars: James Garner, C. Thomas Howell, Jenilee Harrison, Shirley Jones, G. D. Spradlin, and James Cromwell, to name a few. The film received thirty-seven Oscar nominations, and took home thirty-six statues. All fans ages fifteen and over will receive a C. Thomas Howell 76ers jersey. The actor will take part in the ceremonial jump ball to begin the game by tossing the ball from the turret of a 1944 Sherman tank at center court. At halftime, 600 lucky fans will have the chance to help pull the 30-ton, WWII relic the length of the court via steel cable. The team also announced that to "fire up the crowd" during the game, the Jumbotron will show the movie clip with C. Thomas Howell saying. "He's my dad, and I love him. And if anyone tries to hurt him...I will blow them away." ("Sixers" will be dubbed over "dad.") Jenilee Harrison and Jennifer Garner--no relation to James--will launch "Sixers Tanking" t-shirts into the crowd throughout the first and third quarters.

New roller coaster will be first to serve meals, offer movies, pressurized cabins, luggage fees, pilots, deicing

Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Michael Bay simultaneously texted smiley faces to each other at moment spacecraft Philae landed on comet

Outdoor moviegoers miss ending of 'Up' after helium-filled, inflatable movie screen drifts into the night sky

"It was only supposed to rise about ten feet off the ground," said a movie screen rental employee. "It was a publicity stunt that went very wrong. Please keep your eyes out for a large, inflatable movie screen, last spotted floating southwest."

Urine from fearful thrillseekers provides needed water for world's tallest water slide

"We don't need to pump water to the top in order for the rafts to glide down the slide," said Kansas City, MO, water park official Tom Loughlin. "The urination caused from the fear and anticipation of the ride provides enough water for the inflated crafts to smoothly negotiate the steep descent. It's been a fabulous, and, honestly, unexpected cost saver."

World Cup: ESPN analyst admits to shaving during each commercial break

World Cup: ESPN's new soccer ball cameras forcing television viewers to take motion sickness medication

Dramamine purchases every remaining commercial slot for conclusion of tournament. The sports network claims that if players were striking the eight-pound ball correctly, there would be "zero spin," and, thus, a "much more enjoyable experience for the home audience."

Director Marty Di Bergi wants shot at remaking World Cup broadcast player introductions--'the arm folding part'

The This is Spinal Tap director claims his arm folding work in the below clip--specifically, the 0:42 second mark--speaks for itself. "Nothing against FIFA, but I deserve a shot to rework the player intros," said De Bergi.

Concert goers spend entire performance avoiding beach tag checkers at renovated, sandy Festival Pier

At one point during the concert the entire audience entered the Delaware River--scaling a chain link fence in the process--in an effort to avoid paying the $14/day beach tag cost. "I had to go to the bathroom anyway," said one reveler. 

Disney wanted to make 'Million Dollar Baby Arm' but could not get PG rating

The studio was forced to change the tragic ending already filmed and drop 'Baby' from title to lose the PG-13 rating given by the MPAA. "Also, the title would have been confusing to audiences," said one Disney executive. "It's not a film about pitchers with tiny arms."

6ABC scrambles to find host for live broadcast of Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby after Kelly Ripa backs out

MH370: Michael Richards apologizes for 'No Ping heard since 1990s' remark made at LA comedy club

Judge rules in favor of NBC: no tv network should have to televise 3 consecutive Pro Bowls

The arbitrator used the words "cruel" and "unusual" a total of 108 times during lengthy ruling.

Fans outraged after Sarah Jessica Parker cast in lead role for 'Angie's List: The Movie'

Parker may soon step aside if pressure continues to mount from the rabid fans of the consumer ratings website.