A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Showing posts with label olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label olympics. Show all posts
Friday, December 14, 2018
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Citing high costs to repair floors, schools across country banning popular bobsled shoe fashion trend
Minneapolis--The XXII Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, ended nearly one month ago, but the games' ability to set global trends is running (er, skating) at full speed. One of the bigger fashion trends to emerge from the seaside resort town, in the shadow of the Caucus Mountains, was the bobsled shoe as casual footwear. Yes, the same shoes designed to provide built, sprinting athletes pushing bulky sleds with traction on ice are being worn by the "average Joe" to carryout everyday activities. One major problem has resulted, however, from school-aged children sporting the spiked gear.: floor damage. "We're not talking a few scrapes here," said Edward Johanson, principal at Bloomington Middle School in Bloomington, Minnesota. "I absolutely love that our children were inspired by the fantastic Winter Olympic Games. I love their passion. But the spikes are wreaking havoc on floors, and nearly all of the flooring in the school now needs replacing. Let's not even talk about the basketball court." This is not an isolated incident, as schools--malls, restaurants, and offices--across the country and around the world have started banning the metal-spiked bobsled shoes.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Latvian bobsled team blaming 5th-place finish on Latvian film crew's 'enormously impractical' front-mounted camera
"The documentary crew had an all-access pass to [the team] while in Sochi, we just had no idea the camera would be that large. It absolutely slowed our run times, but, to be honest, some of the footage is breathtaking," said one team member. "It was all worth it."
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Winter Olympics: Controversy dampens Two-man Aerial Bobsled finals in Sochi
Canada takes home gold, but Norway and Russia each claim a third person was aboard the Maple Leaf sled.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
NBC: Yellow WR swimming line drew millions of N.F.L. fans to Olympic broadcast thinking graphic indicated first down
American football fans strongly related to the moving yellow world record pace line, which appeared during the men's and women's Olympic swimming broadcasts. NBC announcers, in an effort to lure more N.F.L. viewers, referred to the line as the first down line. 'The swimming guy kept almost getting a first down,' said one fan. 'It was great.'
Friday, August 10, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Australian twins ready to dominate at London Paralympic men's synchronized diving
Friday, August 3, 2012
Sustainability at the Olympics: What happens to all the pommel horse manure?
London--The host of the Summer Olympics has yet to miss an opportunity to remind viewers and visitors that this 2012 version of the games is the most sustainable ever. Yes, even more so than the 1948 London games, in which the city constructed no new venues when it welcomed the world shortly after WWII ended.
Solar panels provide power for lighting the ExCel Center where fencing and table tennis competitions are held. Geothermal eases the energy demand for climate control in the Basketball Arena. And, roof-mounted wind turbines give life to Earls Court, a 20,000-seat arena, home to the volleyball matches. The city planted over 30,000 new trees near the gleaming sporting venues, which reduces the amount of stormwater runoff destine for the Lee River, a tributary of the Thames, and the Hertford Union Canal. Giant rain barrels strategically placed throughout the park provide water for the elaborate, royal-like (and very thirsty) gardens dotting the landscape.
But it doesn't end there.
So green are these Olympics that the pommel horse manure, usually discarded into a local landfill or discreetly (or often not so discreetly) unloaded into a nearby waterway of a host city, is being recycled and stored energy extracted to lessen the demand on the power grid.
Four years ago, Beijing dumped over three million tons of pommel horse manure into the moat surrounding the Forbidden City and the far-away Yangtze River at the conclusion of the games. In 2004, an economically-challenged Greece called on (pleaded?) other European nations to accept some of the manure produced by the apparatus. And, in 2000, the Australian government disposed of the pommel horse manure by, first rounding up, then filling the pouches of thousands of kangaroos, who then hopped into the expansive Outback.
These cities are kicking themselves now after seeing what London has done with pommel equine droppings. "Beijing considered harnessing the power but never followed through," said Hillary Cartwright, an engineer with Cooper-Sinclair, an energy consulting company that worked closely with the British government when planning the summer games. "One piece of manure can power a four-inch flat screen television for twenty-seven seconds. We thought, 'Imagine what tons of manure can do?'"
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| Above: Predicting when the pommel horse will relieve itself has been a real headache for gymnastics organizers. |
"Pommel horse manure is just a simple fact of the Olympics," said Gary Thomas, London 2012 vice president of sustainability. "We knew this when we bid for the games and we wanted to find a suitable use for the, excuse my language, horse shit. We think we did."
The pommel horse manure is being used to fuel the entire Olympic Village, the compact city within a city in East London's Olympic Park, where the athletes call home during the two-week competition. During breaks between performances, the manure is gathered from beneath the pommel horse by local
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Argentina pulls athletes from Olympics after Brits dedicate 45 minutes of Opening Ceremony to reenactment of Falklands War
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Opening Ceremony: U.K. proudly reminds planet that global warming began with them
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
U.S. Men's basketball team still adjusting to smaller Olympic ball
LeBron's new 'slider' and 'change-up' passes have kept opponents on edge. Kobe's 'knuckleball' three-point shot still needs work.
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