A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
NHL Stadium Series: Players 'completely worn out' playing on 120-yard-long rink
Philadelphia--Saturday's NHL Stadium Series game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers at Lincoln Financial Field marked the first outdoor NHL game with a rink as long as the football field (including the end zones) beneath the ice. The teams were clearly spent by the end of the first period."Playing on a rink that long is ridiculous," said Flyers captain Claude Giroux. "That's nearly double the size of a normal rink. It's too much. It was comical." The NHL approved the longer rink in order to "draw more NFL fans to improve television ratings." The exhausted hockey players also somehow found the energy to perform elaborate group celebrations after scoring goals. "My favorite celebration was when [the Flyers] pretended to drill a hole in the ice and use their sticks to go ice fishing ," said one young fan.
Monday, February 4, 2019
Friday, February 1, 2019
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