Thursday, March 20, 2014

Not a Pop Up Gas Station: Opportunity for high-density, mixed-use development out as pumps go in at 19th & Walnut St

Fuel, coffee set to flow 
The enormous, long-vacant lot at 1911 Walnut St. in Center City, a stone's thr...er, toss from the northwest corner of Rittenhouse Square, is unoccupied no more. The new tenant--a galaxy way from its summer 2012 use: a Pennsylvania Horticultural Society Pop Up Garden--is a suburban-sized Wawa gas station. In addition to multi-family housing, the lot is zoned for a "five-story refueling station." Wawa, however, went low-density installing only a single level of pumps with an extended covering to protect customers from the elements. Recent reports had Toll Brothers building a mixed-use project at the location, but the construction of the station came out of no where, and, surprisingly, after many downtown Wawas have closed up shop. "This will be our first gas station in Center City," said one company representative. "A prominent location, the size we need to build a first-class fueling center. The smell of gas fumes in Rittenhouse Square will act as a great reminder to folks that they can refuel across the street ... it is exciting." Vehicles must enter the station via Walnut St. and exit onto Moravian St. The store, the second phase of the development, will come next year, forcing current customers using cash to prepay at the 17th and Arch Streets Wawa, a half-mile trek away. There will be a coffee stand on site.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Report: Malaysian officials question Ashton Kutcher, producers of Punk'd

As the search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 entered its 10th day, investigators followed up on "the best lead we have so far." The lead? A tweet sent late last night by @TheBeerKeg6401 read: "Yo, what if miss plane part of upcoming Punk'd season? #370 #notcool"

Monday, March 10, 2014

Sixers coping: Team treating losing streak like winning streak, but not the good kind of winning streak

"We're trying to look at this losing streak like a winning streak...so that it's a little bit easier to deal with," said one player about the club's sixteen losses in a row. "But, it's the kind of winning streak that you want to end. I know that sounds weird, but it helps...a little bit. It makes us sound like we've won sixteen straight. Does that make sense?"

Sunday, March 9, 2014

City: 'There are no potholes, only thousands of archaeological digs'

Did the city officially declare all potholes to be historic excavation sites in order to skirt repair responsibilities? 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Temple reinstates crew; baseball to play upcoming (and final) season at (baseball-unfriendly) Lincoln Financial Field

Having the baseball team play at the football-only Linc will save the school thousands of dollars in transportation costs to Ambler, PA, but will make for some very high scoring games. "It's gonna be a wild home campaign," said one player, referring to the "pathetically short" distance down the left field line.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Real potholes force city to abandon $10M fake pothole speed reduction program


Philadelphia-- The synthetic potholes quickly unroll onto the street and appear as authentic potholes, which was supposed to be a cost-effective approach to slow down motorists on targeted city streets. "The problem now is that there are just so many real potholes because of this winter's need for constant snow plowing and the freezing and thawing. So...when one of our fake holes sits right next to a real pothole, there just is no comparison. They just look silly...really silly. The real potholes have ruined our fake pothole program. [The City] is in the process of removing all the fake holes and will be auctioning them off on eBay. As soon as all the fake holes are removed and sold, we will begin repairing the real holes," said Gary Bensonton, an official with the Roads and Streets Division of the Philadelphia Association of Streets and Roads.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Latvian bobsled team blaming 5th-place finish on Latvian film crew's 'enormously impractical' front-mounted camera

"The documentary crew had an all-access pass to [the team] while in Sochi, we just had no idea the camera would be that large. It absolutely slowed our run times, but, to be honest, some of the footage is breathtaking," said one team member. "It was all worth it."
                            


Friday, February 21, 2014

City, state reminding residents that fishing license still required for pothole fishing

Philadelphia--City and State officials "sternly" reminded residents that fishing in potholes is no different than casting a line from a lake or river's edge: you need a fishing license. For nearly fifteen years Pennsylvania has stocked sizable potholes throughout the state with a healthy variety of fish to "make the best of often horrible winter road conditions." The plan aimed to extend the fishing season, attract more anglers, and, in turn, increase license numbers, which would help pay for pothole repair during the spring season. "Fishing enthusiasts are forgetting or ignoring fees when it comes to potholes," said Doyle Grey, a representative at the PA Fish and Boat Association & Commission. "Sadly, people are like, 'Oh, it's a pothole, I don't have to worry about a license. Look at me, look how I ignore the rules.' It's frustrating. This money will help smooth out the potholes in the warmer months." A PA license runs $22.70 for adults between the ages of 16 to 64.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Thursday, February 13, 2014

47th floor, open-air 'skywalk' to connect new Comcast tower to existing Comcast Center

Philadelphia--Nearly one month after Comcast announced plans for the 59-story Innovation and Technology Center, the mass media and communications giant, along with architects at Foster + Partners, revealed one final detail to the impressive project: a dramatic, 425-foot "skywalk." The cable-supported "bridge in the sky" will connect the new tower to the original, 58-floor Comcast Center at the 47th floor. The open-air walkway will be accessible year-round, providing employees and tourists with breathtaking, inimitable views of the city and beyond. Some predict it could become one of the city's most popular tourist attractions. The steel skyscraper connection will allow executives, primarily located in the Comcast Center to the east, to "pop-in" on the "techies and app guys," and provide easy access to the new hotel. "Though the top floors of the new building will be a hotel, the bridge will reduce the effort to go from, say, the 50th floor in the Comcast Center to the 37th floor in the Innovation Center," said Jane Filmore, an engineer with Thom+Jimz Engineering. "You know, going all the way down to the lobby, walking to the other lobby, and going up again could get to be a total drag." Comcast chose to exclude the "skyway" element from the January tower announcement due to unfinished negotiations with the Arch Street Presbyterian Church for air rights.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Major ice, snow storm topples Quinnipiac University pole

The twenty-foot pole had stood on the campus of over 8,000 students for several decades. The university promises to conduct a poll on whether or not to bring the pole back.

Power company reminding public to 'use extreme caution' when moving downed, live wires

"If the wires are sparking and smoking, please--I cannot stress this enough--use gloves or an old rag when grabbing the lines," said one local power company official. "Make sure the gloves or rags are dry."

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

New skyscraper interior rendering portrays 'very relaxed' atrium atmosphere

"This is extremely embarrassing, as we don't know how that particular publication made it into the rendering," said a representative from the firm that designed the tower. "I have a weird feeling, however, that it was this one intern that just might do something like this."

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Super Bowl: NFL slowly making transition from Roman to Maya numerals

"It's a great system the Mayans gave us, and [the NFL] wanted numerals from the Western Hemisphere. That's basically what it came down to. It may take some time to understand and get used to, but we'll all get it...we will," said Commissioner Roger Goodell, at a recent press conference. "I promise. Really, it's a much more straightforward system. C'mon, you guys."

Super Bowl Boulevard: League to add popular Toboggan Run to NFL Combine

Players will compete against the clock and each other.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Report: NFL considering holding Super Bowl every four years

New York City--Reports have surfaced that the NFL is considering a plan to hold the Super Bowl every four years. Say what? Why provide rabid and casual fans less of its showcase event, which captures the largest American television audience of the year? "If [the NFL] could, the NFL would hold two Super Bowls annually," reported one league official on condition of anonymity. "But they can't, or can they? The strategy here is to heavily--I mean, heavily--promote the conference championships, which would be played in two neutral sites on different weeks for three 'off' years between Super Bowls. Voila: that's how they get their two Super Bowls." An "AFC Super Bowl" and an "NFC Super Bowl" doubles television commercial spots, ticket sales, and the two-week pregame media frenzy leading up to the contest. On the the year the Super Bowl is held, conference championships would be played in stadiums of the highest remaining playoff seed, as is the case now. The league could also add a round to the playoffs during "off" years to "counter" the lost final game. "Analysts predict a (very hungry) television audience for a Super Bowl held every four years could double viewer numbers and send costs for commercials skyrocketing. The hype for the game would be unimaginable." Not seeing an AFC team compete against an NFC team in the final game of the year on the grandest stage may be tough for many to understand. And that, in the end, the NFL is, well, a business.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

'Omaha...steaks...steaks...Omaha...steaks... Heartland quality since 1917, hut, hut': Steak company pays Manning millions to tweak line scrimmage call

Omaha, NE--Omaha Steaks has reached an agreement with Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning to endorse the steak company during games while calling plays at the line of scrimmage. "During game broadcasts, Peyton's line of scrimmage calls are so audible to the home viewer," said Omaha Steaks CEO, Gary Devlin. "His shouts of 'Omaha' are so clear. We thought what if we added 'Steaks' to the call, and maybe a short description about quality and the founding year of the company. I mean, how perfect is that?" The proposed call: Omaha...steaks...Omaha...steaks...steaks... Heartland quality since 1917, hut, hut. The call order can--and should--be varied so as not to come across as a product advertisement during play, which would go against NFL rules. The 37-year-old Manning will be paid $2.2 million for the remainder of the playoffs, which, the meat manufacturer, distributor, and marketer hopes, includes the Super Bowl.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

5th Anniversary: Where is it now? Miracle on the Hudson plane back in service, operating domestic routes

Recent passenger sitting in seat A22 reported "swelled, crinkled" SkyMall clearly aboard Miracle flight. "It was frustrating, most of the pages for the cool pet products were stuck together--unreadable."

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Despite the digital age, Chip Kelly is committed to the VCR

The Chichen Itza-shaped pyramid of video home system (VHS) tapes piled in Chip Kelly's office make it difficult to spot the first-year NFL coach rewinding, pausing, and fast-forwarding one of said cassettes on a circa 1980s VCR. The worn down device precariously fights for space on a small tv dinner table positioned adjacent to the very cluttered main desk and spews wires that twist and turn their way to a nearby television.

Kelly, 50, is a video cassette stalwart, almost to a fault. "I'm a VHS guy," said Kelly, half yelling and flashing a smirk that suggests that, in 2014, he probably shouldn't be. The humming and whining sounds emanating from the gray box force the offensive innovator to raise the volume of his voice. "I realize they're on the way out--actually are out--but it's all I know. I'm comfortable with tapes. I'm a master at adjusting the tracking to improve the picture on the television. There's no tracking with digital...that makes me uncomfortable."

The New Hampshire native beams when asked about the previously mentioned VCR in the center of the room. It is a top-loading relic purchased in a Portsmouth, N.H., electronics shop in 1987 with money borrowed from a friend. "It has the original motor. I had one VCR expert tell me a couple weeks ago that it has played, rewound, or fast-forwarded nearly 300,000 miles of magnetic tape. It's my little engine that could."

Friday, January 3, 2014

Report: Lehigh Univ. president gave hints of departure: driving on left side of road, asking friends to 'high tea,' using 'mental'

Bethlehem, PA--Alice P. Gast is stepping down as president of Lehigh University, a position she has held since 2006, and moving into the top role at Imperial College London. Lehigh students and faculty claim the lead administrator began leaving hints of her departure weeks ago. "Last week, out of the clear blue, she began speaking in a British accent during a brief phone conversation," said one longtime faculty member. "It caught me off guard but now it makes perfect sense." Friends say that Gast began consuming and stockpiling "absurd" amounts of tea, referred to dinner as "high tea," and peppered meetings with the term "mental." There have also been reports that the president has been spotted driving on the left side of the road in and around the mountainside University. However, the clearest indication that the president was lining up a move to the other side of the Atlantic came with the installation of twenty-five bright red phone booths all over campus in early December.