Phillies players will not attend today's parade

Philadelphia Soul players will sit in for Phillies players during today's World Series Championship parade down Broad St. due to a scheduling conflict. The entire team is contractually obligated to attend the taping of a commercial for D'Ambrosio Dodge at the airport auto mall.

"It's unfortunate but we signed a deal with [D'Ambrosio Dodge] to tape a Halloween Phillies commercial back in April," said Phillies president, David Montgomery.

Officials feel that crowds will remain civil during the parade as long as Jon Bon Jovi makes an appearance.

Smart cars targeted during World Series street celebration

Philadelphia's Smart Cars were not immune to the unruly fan behavior that followed the Phillies' second championship in their 126 year history.

Heather Smits, assistant to Mayor Michael Nutter, warned the public days before, that raucous crowds would seek out the ultra-compact automobiles. The city went as far as to offer pick up and short term storage in South Philadelphia.

"Several people took our advice, but instead of us picking up the car, they simply mailed Smart Cars to our facility," said Smits.

One unidentified owner should have taken the city's offer, as the car was left at the intersection of Broad St and Sansom St, nearly in epicenter of the post-game party.

"We tried to push the car over but they are deceivingly stable," said Mike Brezner, 43, of Grays Ferry. "We had about 15 guys pushing and it wouldn't go. The crowd that was watching us started to laugh. It was embarrassing."

Though unsuccessful in overturning the tiny car, Brezner and company attempted to ease their embarrassment with a Louisville Slugger.

"We beat the #$%& out of that thing," said Brezner. "No Smart Car will ever embarrass me like that again. Never!"

Report: Teams were forced to stay in dugout during 2-day rain suspension

The Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays have finally completed the rain-delayed game five of the World Series. The Phillies prevailed and captured baseball's biggest prize. That much we know.

However, reports are surfacing that players from both teams were required to remain in their respective dugouts during the 2-day rain delay from Monday to Wednesday.

One source close to commissioner Bud Selig, who wanted to remain anonymous, reported: "[Bud Selig] ordered the players and coaching staff to stay in the dugout because he feared the game would lose its feel."

Selig offered no comment when questioned about the reports and went on to say that dugouts "were not comfortable places."

Players reportedly slept on the dugout floor in sleeping bags and ate left over hot dogs from sections 117 and 130. Several players used bases and piles of used sunflower seeds as pillows.

Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino gave a big smile when asked about the topic.

"Major League Baseball has banned me from commenting on this subject. But I will say it was a cold couple of nights ... wherever I may have spent them."

Dominos offers free small Palin pizza for PA

Now you have a reason to save that annoying voting receipt that always gets tossed onto the polling place floor. Bring your receipt to any participating Pennsylvania Dominos Pizza, to prove you voted for McCain, and you will receive one small Palin pizza.

"I love toppings, but as long as its free then I really do like Palin pizza," said Betty Sipes, of Broomall, PA.

Company founder, Tom Monaghan, called the promotion a blessing. "The Palin pizza will help us in the critical swing state. Pennsylvania loves pizza."

Drunk, wet fans attempt to tip over Comcast Center

A group on angry Phillies fans attempted to tip over the Comcast Center, the city's tallest building, following the lengthy rain delay last night.

"It's a solid building, trust me," said Jim Higgins, a fan from Fitler Square. "It's not nearly as easy to tip over as it looks."

Higgins and some friends left a bar at 17th and Chesnut St's and made their way to the glass and steel structure with the intent of toppling the building by "pushing and shoving really hard."

"We thought we could get her to rock back and forth enough to get it to bend quite a bit. If it did go over it would have been empty because it was so late ... so that's one thing," said Higgins.

Comcast security guards caught the group in action and allowed the action to continue after having a good laugh.

"We were going to call the cops, but [the other guards and myself] were just getting such a kick out of it. They pushed and rocked for about an hour before all six fell asleep on the sidewalk," said guard, Dave Allen.

FBI discovers 3 more catwalks at Tropicana Field—E,F,G

Rays to wear Steve Irwin patch during series

The Tampa Bay Rays, this year's American League representative in baseball's World Series, have decided to pay tribute to one of the world's great animal lovers. The team has decided to wear a patch of Steve Irwin on the right sleeve of their uniforms during the best-of-seven series.

Irwin, best known as the Crocodile Hunter, was killed just over two years ago off the coast of Australia while filming a documentary. The Australian was the victim of a rare stingray attack, where he suffered a fatal blow to the chest.

"Steve was a big fan of the Devil Rays. Actually, he was a big fan of all teams that have animals as mascots, as he thought it made the public more aware of the creatures and their fragile environments," said Cindy Thomas, a colleague and friend of the Irwin family.

The team did have a moment of silence before their game on the day after Irwin died in 2006. They also retired a jersey with Irwin's favorite number, 64(average number of teeth for a crocodile), at the beginning of the 2007 season.

"I always felt guilty that his life was cut short by a ray. Though it was a stingray and not a devil ray I just never felt right about it. So we want to honor him while participating on baseball's biggest stage," said Rays owner, Stuart Sternberg.

Irwin's death was the reason the team decided to drop devil from their name starting in the fall of 2007. Team officials wanted to distance themselves from what happened near the Great Barrier Reef the year before.

"We considered changing the name completely after the accident. Both the Tampa Bay Flounders and the Tampa Bay Sea Bass were seriously considered, but in the end we settled on just Rays," said the team's marketing director, Kimberly Monnaet.

Notes: This is the second playoff series that the Rays will wear patches. Against the Red Sox in the ALCS the team wore a Ray Romano patch to promote TBS' reruns of Everybody Love Raymond.

Bye week lets area connect with fall and the outdoors

"God, I wish every bye week was this nice," said Frank Tollenz, referring to the picture perfect fall weather the Philadelphia area experienced over the weekend. "I can remember one bye week a couple years ago being very rainy and I just hated bye week that year. I was like,'god, I hate bye week.'"

Tollenz, like many other Eagles fans, only gets to enjoy one fall weekend every year due to the team's single week off—usually scheduled around the middle of the season. Though the games are on Sunday's, Tollenz spends Saturdays preparing for the game by watching film and purchasing food for football gatherings. At least twice during the workweek he drives to Lincoln Financial Field and circles the stadium twice before driving the 40 minutes home.

The Bristol,PA native pledged to his family that he would "really enjoy" this year's off-week no matter what the weather. The family, including wife Sharren and twin sons Demp and Donny, 7, took a drive around Bucks and Montgomery Counties to witness the fall foliage at its best and take in a hike.

The four were amazed at what they saw. Each reported having seen pictures of leaves changing colors, but never the real thing.

"A friend told me some years ago about leaves and colors and changing ... it was a real science fiction explanation. Something out of a UFO movie, but today I really saw what my buddy was saying."

The family seemed to be on quite a high as each were looking forward to next year's bye week already. However, the family gave an odd look when asked what they thought if the Eagles had two bye weeks per season.

"If there were two byes, that could allow me to get the old bike out of the shed or take my sons fishing or some other stuff, but that would mean two weekends of Eagle-less football and I don't know if that would work," said Tollenz.

"What a great experience this weekend was. I am truly looking forward to the 2009 bye week. I really mean that."

'I told Chase that I can't get champagne on my back before a swim meet, but he did not listen. I was upset.'

Above: Chase Utley pours champagne down the back of third baseman Pedro Feliz in celebration of a trip to the World Series. Feliz was under strict orders from his swim coach not to get champagne on his back before a swim meet. Feliz was scheduled to swim in a meet in San Bernadino, CA after the game. Feliz took up swimming shortly after the Beijing Olympics ended in August. Though words were exchanged the two have patched things up since.

One Phils bandwagon fan swears team made it this far in 2001

Philadelphia is savoring last night's NLCS clincher that has put the Phillies in the World Series for only the 6th time in franchise history. Fans filled Broad Street, gathered in Mayfair and near Citizens Bank Park.

"I'm going crazy," said Zack Mendenhall, 36, a fan from Pennsport,"It's like 2001 all over again."

A face-painted Mendenhall admitted that he is a huge Eagles and Flyers fan, but only a very casual Phillies fan. When asked what was the significance of 2001 for the Phillies he gave a confused look.

"Everybody knows the Phils went to the finals in 2001. Remember the great play where Mike Lieberthal stepped over a player on his way to home plate. We're celebrating like it's been a lot longer than seven years, but that's fine with me," said Mendenhall.

When several friends and diehard fans tried to explain to Mendenhall that it was the Sixers who made it to the finals in 2001 and Allen Iverson who stepped over a Los Angeles Laker he became very quiet.

The Pennsport native insisted it was the Phils in the "MLB Finals" that year. There were lots of finger pointing, name calling and some tears during the debate about the Phils 2001 season.

"It's so clear to me because it was a few days after my birthday in June and ... Oh god. Oh %$#@! I'm very embarrassed. You probably can't tell that I'm bright red because of all this red paint I have on my face."

'I am ________ and this message was approved by me.'

The Federal Association of Political Advertisements(FAPA) announced today that starting immediately political radio and television ads must reword their candidate approval statements.

Currently political ads either open or close with:"I am _______ and I approve this message." Under the new FAPA requirements ads must use the following format:"I am ______ and this message was approved by me."

"Political ads can grow tiring especially when [the public] is bombarded at a dizzying rate during the final weeks before the election. We feel changing the candidate approval statement format will make the ads much more entertaining and funny," said FAPA president, Steve Dillenger.

Both the Obama and McCain camps praised the move calling it "classy" and "extremely classy and good."

"We just feel changing the format was a real classy move," said an Obama representative.

"Flat out classy and good," said a McCain representative.

Stairs and Victorino to team up on Hole in the Wall

Hollywood loves a great story and it's difficult to top last night's two Phillies two-run home runs in the eighth inning to erase a two run deficit to beat the Dodgers, 7-5.

FOX television, which is based in Hollywood and televised the game, decided to ask the two Phillies heroes from game 4 to appear on the network's hit show Hole in the Wall.

The game show challenges contestants to contort their bodies to fit through cutout in a moving wall. If unsuccessful the player is pushed off the platform and into a pool.

Shane Victorino and Matt Stairs, the home run heroes, are huge fans of the show and did not hesitate when FOX executives approached them after the game with the idea.

"It's like it's a moving wall. Just one time I want to see them launch a wall that has no hole at all. You know, just to see the faces of the [contestants]," said Canadian, Stairs.

"We had a game like this in Hawaii when I was growing up, but instead of a wall and a hole we had a backboard and a rim and a basketball," said the native islander, Victorino.

The episode will be taped today as the NLCS takes a day off before game 5 tomorrow. Manager Charlie Manuel and several teammates will attend the taping.

"The show is hilarious. But it could be funnier if the wall was moving away from the players," said Manuel.

The episode will air in late March of 2009 and will contain strong adult language and lots of chewing tobacco.

Comcast Center to allow "light tailgating" in lobby during Phillies games

The new Comcast Center in Philadelphia, home to the country's largest cable and communications company by the same name, has decided to show Phillies playoff games on the lobby TV.

This is no ordinary television. It covers almost the entire north wall of the lobby as it runs 83 long and 25 feet high. It is the world's largest four-millimeter LED screen. The picture is so clear that the images that fill the many panels appear to be three-dimensional.

So special is the screen that it has begun to draw large crowds(many tourists) to view it's in-house programing and now even larger crowds for the Phillies playoff games.

"We've decided to allow light tailgating in the lobby during games. Because we have only two benches we wanted fans to be comfortable," said Comcast representative, Joseph Stills.

Stills went on to define light tailgating as the following: folding chairs, personal sized coolers, cans(no bottles), gas grills(no charcoal) and smaller-size foam fingers.

"I'm really looking forward to light tailgating tomorrow during game 4," said Debbie McShane. "But I must admit that I'm a little confused by the no cans and charcoal rule."

Stills also added: "We will not allow those cheesesteak foam hats. They're really tacky."

Torre threatens Amtrak home if Dodgers don't split in Philly

Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre told his team today after workouts that if they did not get at least one victory in Philadelphia they would be taking Amtrak home across the country on Saturday morning.

Torre has informed the league of his decision, which could impact the schedule of the NLCS. If the Dodgers do at least split, the schedule will remain unchanged. If the the team falls behind 2-0 there will be four days off between games two and three to allow for train travel.

"When he said Amtrak I got the chills. But when he said Amtrak and cross-country in the same sentence ... I kind of urinated myself," said Dodger pitcher, Derek Lowe.

It takes roughly two and a half days to travel on Amtrak from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Most trips require two train changes in either Washington,DC or Pittsburgh and Chicago.

"I pulled this stunt back in 2000 during the subway World Series with the Mets and I think it was a hit. Nobody wanted to take Amtrak anywhere, not even from the Bronx to Queens," said Torre.

Though the trip back could be physically draining on the Dodgers one player looked at the positives if they did embark along the rails. "Going through the Rockies could be fun because of the observation car and I hear the dining car serves some of the best M&M's," said the player.

MGM buys movie rights to Bailout plan for $700 billion

MGM Studios(Metro Goldwyn Mayer) has signed a deal with the US government for the movie rights to the Bailout of Wall Street. The deal is reported to be in the area of $700 billion, the most ever to be paid for the rights to produce a film. Only for the production cost of Universal Pictures' Waterworld(1995 at $2.3 trillion) has Hollywood seen such an outlandish sum of money associated with a film.

"It's a great story and we thought it was worth the investment. We think we got it for a steal quite frankly," said MGM CFO, Kyle Shnantz.

Shnantz said that Hollywood would change the story slightly by adding a science fiction-type monster to the film.

"The bailout story is fantastic, don't get me wrong. But we feel that instead of defaulting loans causing mayhem on the markets there should be some type of eight-legged creature descending on Wall Street and Main Street," said Shnantz.

The studio announced that Kevin Costner has been asked to play the role of a Pennsylvania Amish farmer who travels to Wall Street after discovering he holds the secret to defeating the creature.

The government spent $700 billion on the Bailout plan for Wall Street and so the movie deal will help the government balance the deal. Or will it?

"The deal is great for the American people. This is such great timing. You have know idea how this extra cash will help with our planned air and ground invasion of Iran, Pakistan and ... there's a couple countries I'm forgetting and I don't mean any disrespect to them," said Dennis Ramsey, assistant to the Secretary of State.

Shnantz hopes that the movie will be in theaters by Election day on November 4th.

Manuel drives an automatic

Charlie Manuel(above) finally succumbed to the pressure of the Philadelphia media and admitted to driving an automatic transmission automobile. The Philadelphia Phillies manager had denied rumors for several years that he drove a car without a gear shift.

"We saw him get out of the car and not put the parking break on. We confronted him and he admitted it there on the spot. I then looked through the car window to confirm his statement," said Action News correspondent, Gary Smith.

Prince Fielder demands private tour of Tastykake factory

The Milwaukee Brewers slugger Prince Fielder says he loves coming to Philadelphia. The Ontario, CA native spends his off-seasons in Philadelphia where he recently purchased a Center City apartment.

"It's a city of great food, great snacks and even greater snack cakes. The main reason I began spending my winters here is because of one word ... scrapple. Scrapple, man," said Fielder.

The stout first baseman can regularly be seen at Pat's, Geno's, Jim's and then back at Geno's. Residents of Chester County, the birthplace of scrapple, often report seeing the major leaguer at area diners and hobnobbing with the Amish attempting to uncover the mystery meat's ingredients.

"Though I may have came for the scrapple I stayed for the Tastykakes. And I guess for the cheesesteaks and a little bit for the pretzels ... and I guess the hoagies as well."

Fielder admits that he has a soft spot for Tastykakes and has two vending machines in his Liberty Two apartment stocked with the local treats.

"I know Chase [Utley] does commercials for Tastykake, but I think Prince would be a good spokesperson," said Fielder's public relations agent.

Such a fan of the snack cake company that Fielder requested a tour of the baking facilities. Tastykake discontinued tours of their operations in the early 90's and politely turned the Brewer down.

Fielder threatened to stop eating Krimpets and apple pies if he was not given a tour, but said he would continue eating Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes no matter what the decision.

Tastykake finally issued a statement stating they could not make an exception regarding tours, but would launch a new Krimpet with three layers of icing including Fielder's picture on the wrapper.

"That's a great compromise," said a grinning Fielder. "A delicious compromise."

Fan: 'I used to call him Cole Hummels.'

Scott Travis, a diehard Phillies fan from Roxborough, may be the happiest fan in the city after the local nine's opening victory over the Brewers in the NLDS. The victory, the team's first playoff win since 1993, was made possible by the brilliant outing of Cole Hamels.

"I used to call him Cole Hummels because he is so fragile like those Hummel statue things. Now I'll call him Cole Hamels," said Travis, referring to the player's battles with injuries and his resulting overcautiousness.

So frustrated with the pitcher's injury problems and unwillingness to throw deep into games that Travis began collecting Hummels—the ceramic figurines—to send to Hamels as an insult.

"I was going to buy a couple and then send them to him, but honestly they make great collectibles," said Travis.

Though he never did send the figurines, Travis admitted to bringing several to a game where he asked Hamels to autograph the base of each one. Travis had planned to heckle the pitcher, but backed off when he realized his size.

"I do remember the guy," said Hamels when asked about Travis,"he asked me to sign a bunch of these tiny statues. They were real fragile and all. He said they were for charity."

Travis' collection has reached 248 Hummels. He chooses two to bring with him for everyhome game he attends. "I buy them a seat to share, but they're not heavy enough to make the seat stay down so I have to bring a brick with me."

Travis said he would never call Hamels Cole Hummels again, even though the playoff victory could hurt the value of his collection.

Bailout fails as plan included "Tunnel to Somewhere"

Senator Arlen Spector of Pennsylvania called the Tunnel to Somewhere one of the most egregious examples of possible pork barrel spending ever.

Had the $700 billion dollar bailout plan been passed it would have included the construction of a much needed $200 million highway tunnel in western Pennsylvania. The tunnel, planned for route I-80, would be used by millions of drivers annually.

"We can't have all this pork barrel spending. Pork barrel spending has got to be stopped. I don't know about all this pork barrel spending," said Spector.

Brewers confident, feel they can win NL East

Though the Milwaukee Brewers have played terrible baseball throughout most of September they have managed to heat up at the right time. The Brew Crew have won two straight while Philadelphia and New York have stumbled.

"Forget that we can't win our own division[Central Division]. We're so confident right now that we feel we can sneak past the Phillies and Mets and take the NL East division," said Brewers pitcher, Ben Sheets.

McCain recalls attending first ever game at Yankee Stadium

Republican Presidential candidate John McCain became somewhat emotional when a reporter asked him about the final game at Yankee Stadium on Sunday night.

"I'm a casual Yankees fan, but I remember that April day in 1923 as if it was yesterday," said McCain. "I took my son and we had a great day at the ballpark."

The presidential hopeful went on to describe the sights and the smells from the opening of the world's most state-of-the-art stadium, which was constructed in a little over a year.

"It[the temperature] was on the cold side I remember and my 1919 Model T was slow to start. But I gave her a good cranking and I got her to finally start."

The Senator from Arizona, who played an essential role in that state's entry into the Union in 1912, was on a road tour across the USA in 1923. The trip was a celebration of the 10 year anniversary of Arizona's statehood. Mechanical problems with the vehicle extended the trip four months past its expected finish, which put the Senator in New York for opening day.

"Seeing that game at Yankee Stadium and hearing the crowd and smelling all the smells was instrumental in bringing the Diamondbacks to the Grand Canyon State some 75 years later," said McCain referring to Major League Baseball's arrival in Phoenix in 1998.

McCain also recalled how during the game he said to his son that there should be a swimming pool just beyond the center field wall for fans to relax in.

Local athlete to enter university's intramural hall of fame

Dennis Jacobs, 39, of Wilmington, DE will be inducted into the Schuylkill State University Intramural Hall of Fame on Saturday. Jacobs attended the school from 1987-1990 and graduated with a degree in economics.

The Wilmington High School soccer player and track star competed in intramural soccer, floor hockey, flag football, basketball and ping pong and will join three others in SSU's 27th intramural hall class.

"Jacobs and the other three inductees will be joining an elite group of intramural athletes. SSU has one of the strongest intramural programs in the country," said Schuylkill State's intramural athletic director, Linda Skiles.

The ceremony will be held during halftime of the flag football game between Delta Kappa Sigma and Keg Patrol on field A at the McKenzie Athletic Fields. That is if the Keg Patrol squad decides to show up after forfeiting 2 of their last three games.

"Trust me, we'll show up this week with a full group. We'll put a kappa in Kappa. Plus, Jacobs is an intramural legend," said Keg Patrol team captain, Thomas Evans.

If the game is a forfeit the ceremony will be moved to field D during halftime of the women's field hockey game.

As great as Jacobs was at all the intramural sports he played he truly excelled at flag football. For this reason the university is retiring the flag that the inductee wore during the late 80's and presenting him with a golden flag.

"He was awesome. There were rumors that he tied his flag on tight to prevent easy release, but I never bought into any of that," said former teammate, Jack Hazel.

"I just hope Keg Patrol shows up," said Jacobs

2 of 6 Texas flags found in Oklahoma and Arkansas

Four flags over Texas? Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. However, this is the situation in hurricane-ravaged coastal Texas. Two of the state's six famous flags were ripped from their flagpoles in the city of Houston on Saturday where hurricane Ike's winds reached 80 mph.

One flag turned up in Idabel, a town in the southeastern corner of Oklahoma. While the other flag was found in De Queen, Arkansas, located in the southwestern region of that state.

"We're currently in negotiations with the two states to have the flags sent back to Austin," said a visibly shaken Tom Gutierrez, a Texas government official.

A law passed in 1799 states that all flags that cross state lines, intentionally or unintentionally, must be returned in a timely manner and in excellent condition no matter their current state. The law was created to deter a repeat of the 1795 Delaware Flag Incident.

In 1795 the Diamond State lost the state flag in a huge Nor'easter storm that carried the flag into New Jersey, some 40 miles to the east. New Jersey officials wrote a letter to the Delaware Statehouse: "We got your flag and we sent it back to Dover via a riderless donkey. What? It never arrived? Ha ha ha."

Texas hopes to have the flags back and flying high by the end of the month if negotiations are successful. If not, the Six Flags theme parks located across the country will be renamed accordingly.

D. Jackson:'I was really thinking college rules where the end zones are 11 yards, not 10.'

Dallas, TX--DeSean Jackson committed what appeared to be one of football's worst sins last night during a nationally televised game. The Philadelphia Eagles' wide receiver hauled in a 60-plus yard pass from quarterback Donovan McNabb for what looked like the rookie's first career touchdown.

Just before crossing the goal line, however, Jackson released the ball to the ground signifying the start of a touchdown celebration. The brash, young wide out had sinned and cost his team six points.

The ESPN announcers were in shock along with the entire Delaware Valley. But Jackson should be forgiven for his mistake and not because Brian Westbrook scored on the very next play.

"I was really thinking college rules where the end zones are 11 yards not 10," said a somber Jackson. "It was my bad."

Though it's not a great excuse, it should be taken into consideration that had last night's division battle been a college game, his catch would have been a touchdown.

At the University of California Jackson was known for catching touchdowns and releasing the ball as soon as he crossed the line.

"It's really not his fault," said Eagles head coach, Andy Reid. "Everyone thinks that he was hot dogging, but he really wasn't. However, he will not be suiting up next week against the Steelers."

Texans very proud that state is slightly larger than storm

The enormous Hurricane Ike is battering the Texas coastline this morning and could leave widespread death and billions of dollars in damage in its wake. The massive storm could pummel Houston, the state's largest and the country's fourth largest city.

"It's a huge storm, but square mileage-wise it's still smaller than the great state of Texas. This is something that every Texan is proud of, I can assure you of that," said Houston mayor, Bill White.

Texas encompasses 268,820 square miles while Ike covers roughly 240,000 square miles. Scientists and hurricane experts have hinted that if Ike was 270,000 square miles it would be larger than the state of Texas.

"The fact that Texas is larger than the storm has greatly increased moral among those in [Ike's] path. I would not be surprised if the actual number of deaths from Ike are far below the predicted number simply because of this fact," said Robert Kinori, an expert from The Texas Hurricane Institute in Corpus Cristi.

Some residents began displaying their strong emotional state during the storm by hanging signs for TV news cameras. One sign painted on a bed sheet and placed in the window of a Galveston, TX home read:"C'mon Ike, don't get all mad 'cause Texas is larger than you. 48 states feel the same way."

Other signs were unclear and not helpful in determining the moral of residents. One read:"This is our last bed sheet."

Local trophy maker awards self trophy for best trophy making

Winners, Inc. of Broomall, PA one of the largest makers of trophies and medals, recently created a very large and elaborate trophy. Was it for a local youth sports team tournament? No. Was it made for a high school debate winner? No.

The four-feet tall trophy was produced for...Winners, Inc. That's right. Company officials awarded the trophy to themselves for "Best Trophy Making for 2008."

"We had a very good year and since there are no awards like this in our industry given by an independent agency we decided to give the award to ourselves[Winners Inc]," said the company's president, Geoff Vine.

Vine placed the 2008 award on a giant mantle in his office next to hundreds of other awards the company has "won" in the past 18 years.

Always Try Hard, Inc. in Gulleytown, IN, another large trophy maker, also presented itself with the same award.

"In my estimation there will be roughly 2500 first place trophy maker winners this year," said Always Try Hard's CEO Karen Akers, estimating the total number of trophy makers in the country.

SEPTA says sign reduces amount of egg on commuter faces

One stand to sell $5.00 hot dogs at tonight's game

The hot dog stand behind section 424 in Citizens Bank Park will sell the popular food for $5.00 during tonight's Phillies-Marlins game. Tonight is the much anticipated promotion known as Dollar Dog Night at the stadium where all hot dogs are one dollar–well, not all.

"We like to have one stand sell the hot dogs at regular price. We do this because there is always a small percentage of fans that don't realize it's Dollar Dog Night," said the Phillies director of marketing, Flint Thomas.

The team says it never keeps the regular-priced hot dogs at the same stand for each promotion. In August the $5.00 hot dogs were located behind section 302 in right field and behind 132 in July.

"Someone goes down to buy a round of dogs for the group and sees that it's $5.00. What're they gonna do? Come back empty-handed? No, they're going to fork out the cash for 20 hot dogs. Cha Ching," said Thomas.

Neighbor wears full length button-down t-shirts

Jeff Rosentell still doesn't believe it even though he sees it almost everyday. What he witnesses is his neighbor in Philadelphia's Ringing Bell neighborhood wear button-down t-shirts daily.

"All of his t-shirts have been cut longways in the front and buttons have been added. Not partway down, but all the way down," said Rosentell.

The cutting neighbor, who wanted to remain anonymous, would not go into detail concerning the t-shirts, but said he didn't "care for pulling shirts over his head."

Other neighbors reported that many of the t-shirts have "cool" designs and cutting the garments seemed to be a waste.

"He has one of those Eastern State Penitentiary tees, with the overhead view of the spoked corridors, and there is a cut running directly through the middle. I don't get it...it's like a crime and stuff," said Holly S., a nearby neighbor.

One neighbor, who also requested anonymity, has began cutting his own t-shirts. He went on to say that the cutting neighbor has started a trend in Ringing Belle.

"Honestly, it's more comfortable and stylish. Instead of a v-neck I can leave the top button undone. The only drawback is that the cut edges can curl-up with high humidity and it takes a few more seconds to put on."

'Yes, I take medical waste on all my fishing trips.'

Police have finally tracked down the culprit responsible for the medical waste that has been washing up along the shores of South Jersey's resort towns of Avalon and Sea Isle City. However, the suspect's alibi could set him free.

Thomas McFarland, a Pennsylvania dentist, has denied the illegal waste dumping and said he and his boat were the victim of a rouge wave from the Atlantic Ocean.

The Mainline dentist said he was leaving for a fishing trip when he encountered heavy seas in Townsend's Inlet. This is the small waterway that separates the barrier islands in which the two towns are located.

"The wave was huge and it nearly capsized my small boat. This is when my 25 trash bags full of medical waste fell overboard. Yes, I take medical waste on all my fishing trips," said a somewhat nervous McFarland.

When police questioned the purpose for the medical waste on the fishing voyage McFarland said it was for good luck.

"About 5 years ago I took about ten bags of medical waste with me on a trip and I ended up catching a decent–sized marlin," explained McFarland.

When asked by authorities why he took waste on that trip he hesitated and said,"Oh, right. I thought it would help the boat achieve good buoyancy."

Officer Patrick Kirkpatrick of the Avalon Police Department said the dentist's story makes sense. "Studies have shown that empty syringes, old needles and dirty cotton swabs do great things for buoyancy. He's not a dumb guy. I may take waste on my next trip."

McFarland's attorney said his client takes medical waste with him just about everywhere he goes–from church to the supermarket.