Real potholes force city to abandon $10M fake pothole speed reduction program

Philadelphia-- The synthetic potholes quickly unroll onto the street and appear as authentic potholes, which was supposed to be a cost-effective approach to slow down motorists on targeted city streets. "The problem now is that there are just so many real potholes because of this winter's need for constant snow plowing and the freezing and thawing. So...when one of our fake holes sits right next to a real pothole, there just is no comparison. They just look silly...really silly. The real potholes have ruined our fake pothole program. [The City] is in the process of removing all the fake holes and will be auctioning them off on eBay. As soon as all the fake holes are removed and sold, we will begin repairing the real holes," said Gary Bensonton, an official with the Roads and Streets Division of the Philadelphia Association of Streets and Roads.

Latvian bobsled team blaming 5th-place finish on Latvian film crew's 'enormously impractical' front-mounted camera

"The documentary crew had an all-access pass to [the team] while in Sochi, we just had no idea the camera would be that large. It absolutely slowed our run times, but, to be honest, some of the footage is breathtaking," said one team member. "It was all worth it."

                            

City, state reminding residents that fishing license still required for pothole fishing

Philadelphia--City and State officials "sternly" reminded residents that fishing in potholes is no different than casting a line from a lake or river's edge: you need a fishing license. For nearly fifteen years Pennsylvania has stocked sizable potholes throughout the state with a healthy variety of fish to "make the best of often horrible winter road conditions." The plan aimed to extend the fishing season, attract more anglers, and, in turn, increase license numbers, which would help pay for pothole repair during the spring season. "Fishing enthusiasts are forgetting or ignoring fees when it comes to potholes," said Doyle Grey, a representative at the PA Fish and Boat Association & Commission. "Sadly, people are like, 'Oh, it's a pothole, I don't have to worry about a license. Look at me, look how I ignore the rules.' It's frustrating. This money will help smooth out the potholes in the warmer months." A PA license runs $22.70 for adults between the ages of 16 to 64.

Winter Olympics: Freestyle skiing grounds crew member stockpiling keys, wallets, change, chapstick in cramped locker

Minneapolis tells Vikings to 'get one more year out of Metrodome'

The team was scheduled to play at the University of Minnesota's stadium for two years while the new stadium was being constructed.

Winter Olympics: Controversy dampens Two-man Aerial Bobsled finals in Sochi

Canada takes home gold, but Norway and Russia each claim a third person was aboard the Maple Leaf sled.

Winter Olympics: Warm Sochi: Skiing events to be completed using all-terrain inline skates

47th floor, open-air 'skywalk' to connect new Comcast tower to existing Comcast Center

Philadelphia--Nearly one month after Comcast announced plans for the 59-story Innovation and Technology Center, the mass media and communications giant, along with architects at Foster + Partners, revealed one final detail to the impressive project: a dramatic, 425-foot "skywalk." The cable-supported "bridge in the sky" will connect the new tower to the original, 58-floor Comcast Center at the 47th floor. The open-air walkway will be accessible year-round, providing employees and tourists with breathtaking, inimitable views of the city and beyond. Some predict it could become one of the city's most popular tourist attractions. The steel skyscraper connection will allow executives, primarily located in the Comcast Center to the east, to "pop-in" on the "techies and app guys," and provide easy access to the new hotel. "Though the top floors of the new building will be a hotel, the bridge will reduce the effort to go from, say, the 50th floor in the Comcast Center to the 37th floor in the Innovation Center," said Jane Filmore, an engineer with Thom+Jimz Engineering. "You know, going all the way down to the lobby, walking to the other lobby, and going up again could get to be a total drag." Comcast chose to exclude the "skyway" element from the January tower announcement due to unfinished negotiations with the Arch Street Presbyterian Church for air rights.

Winter Olympics: Luge Doubles: For past three years, teammates each thought the other was steering

Peyton Manning definitely noticing longer Papa John's delivery times since Super Bowl XLVIII

Major ice, snow storm topples Quinnipiac University pole

The twenty-foot pole had stood on the campus of over 8,000 students for several decades. The university promises to conduct a poll on whether or not to bring the pole back.

Power company reminding public to 'use extreme caution' when moving downed, live wires

"If the wires are sparking and smoking, please--I cannot stress this enough--use gloves or an old rag when grabbing the lines," said one local power company official. "Make sure the gloves or rags are dry."

New skyscraper interior rendering portrays 'very relaxed' atrium atmosphere

"This is extremely embarrassing, as we don't know how that particular publication made it into the rendering," said a representative from the firm that designed the tower. "I have a weird feeling, however, that it was this one intern that just might do something like this."

Report: Manning announced retirement minutes before Super Bowl kickoff; told team 'good luck out there, gotta go'

The future Hall of Fame quarterback was nowhere to be found during the entire game.

Super Bowl: NFL slowly making transition from Roman to Maya numerals

"It's a great system the Mayans gave us, and [the NFL] wanted numerals from the Western Hemisphere. That's basically what it came down to. It may take some time to understand and get used to, but we'll all get it...we will," said Commissioner Roger Goodell, at a recent press conference. "I promise. Really, it's a much more straightforward system. C'mon, you guys."

Super Bowl Boulevard: League to add popular Toboggan Run to NFL Combine

Players will compete against the clock and each other.

Report: NFL considering holding Super Bowl every four years

New York City--Reports have surfaced that the NFL is considering a plan to hold the Super Bowl every four years. Say what? Why provide rabid and casual fans less of its showcase event, which captures the largest American television audience of the year? "If [the NFL] could, the NFL would hold two Super Bowls annually," reported one league official on condition of anonymity. "But they can't, or can they? The strategy here is to heavily--I mean, heavily--promote the conference championships, which would be played in two neutral sites on different weeks for three 'off' years between Super Bowls. Voila: that's how they get their two Super Bowls." An "AFC Super Bowl" and an "NFC Super Bowl" doubles television commercial spots, ticket sales, and the two-week pregame media frenzy leading up to the contest. On the the year the Super Bowl is held, conference championships would be played in stadiums of the highest remaining playoff seed, as is the case now. The league could also add a round to the playoffs during "off" years to "counter" the lost final game. "Analysts predict a (very hungry) television audience for a Super Bowl held every four years could double viewer numbers and send costs for commercials skyrocketing. The hype for the game would be unimaginable." Not seeing an AFC team compete against an NFC team in the final game of the year on the grandest stage may be tough for many to understand. And that, in the end, the NFL is, well, a business.

Coach's pregame Pro Bowl speech simply a rant about previous day's cancelled excursion to Maui

Judge rules in favor of NBC: no tv network should have to televise 3 consecutive Pro Bowls

The arbitrator used the words "cruel" and "unusual" a total of 108 times during lengthy ruling.

'Omaha...steaks...steaks...Omaha...steaks... Heartland quality since 1917, hut, hut': Steak company pays Manning millions to tweak line scrimmage call

Omaha, NE--Omaha Steaks has reached an agreement with Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning to endorse the steak company during games while calling plays at the line of scrimmage. "During game broadcasts, Peyton's line of scrimmage calls are so audible to the home viewer," said Omaha Steaks CEO, Gary Devlin. "His shouts of 'Omaha' are so clear. We thought what if we added 'Steaks' to the call, and maybe a short description about quality and the founding year of the company. I mean, how perfect is that?" The proposed call: Omaha...steaks...Omaha...steaks...steaks... Heartland quality since 1917, hut, hut. The call order can--and should--be varied so as not to come across as a product advertisement during play, which would go against NFL rules. The 37-year-old Manning will be paid $2.2 million for the remainder of the playoffs, which, the meat manufacturer, distributor, and marketer hopes, includes the Super Bowl.

5th Anniversary: Where is it now? Miracle on the Hudson plane back in service, operating domestic routes

Recent passenger sitting in seat A22 reported "swelled, crinkled" SkyMall clearly aboard Miracle flight. "It was frustrating, most of the pages for the cool pet products were stuck together--unreadable."

Christie officials claim pics of Gov. physically blocking eight lanes of GW Bridge traffic 'probably, no, definitely Photoshopped'

Polar Vortex: Coast Guard: Tapping from inside iced-over lighthouse has ceased, tapping machine AA batteries likely dead

Despite the digital age, Chip Kelly is committed to the VCR

The Chichen Itza-shaped pyramid of video home system (VHS) tapes piled in Chip Kelly's office make it difficult to spot the first-year NFL coach rewinding, pausing, and fast-forwarding one of said cassettes on a circa 1980s VCR. The worn down device precariously fights for space on a small tv dinner table positioned adjacent to the very cluttered main desk and spews wires that twist and turn their way to a nearby television.

Kelly, 50, is a video cassette stalwart, almost to a fault. "I'm a VHS guy," said Kelly, half yelling and flashing a smirk that suggests that, in 2014, he probably shouldn't be. The humming and whining sounds emanating from the gray box force the offensive innovator to raise the volume of his voice. "I realize they're on the way out--actually are out--but it's all I know. I'm comfortable with tapes. I'm a master at adjusting the tracking to improve the picture on the television. There's no tracking with digital...that makes me uncomfortable."

The New Hampshire native beams when asked about the previously mentioned VCR in the center of the room. It is a top-loading relic purchased in a Portsmouth, N.H., electronics shop in 1987 with money borrowed from a friend. "It has the original motor. I had one VCR expert tell me a couple weeks ago that it has played, rewound, or fast-forwarded nearly 300,000 miles of magnetic tape. It's my little engine that could."

Report: Lehigh Univ. president gave hints of departure: driving on left side of road, asking friends to 'high tea,' using 'mental'

Bethlehem, PA--Alice P. Gast is stepping down as president of Lehigh University, a position she has held since 2006, and moving into the top role at Imperial College London. Lehigh students and faculty claim the lead administrator began leaving hints of her departure weeks ago. "Last week, out of the clear blue, she began speaking in a British accent during a brief phone conversation," said one longtime faculty member. "It caught me off guard but now it makes perfect sense." Friends say that Gast began consuming and stockpiling "absurd" amounts of tea, referred to dinner as "high tea," and peppered meetings with the term "mental." There have also been reports that the president has been spotted driving on the left side of the road in and around the mountainside University. However, the clearest indication that the president was lining up a move to the other side of the Atlantic came with the installation of twenty-five bright red phone booths all over campus in early December.   

Year in Review: United Artists, Fox, NBC, MLB, PGA say no thank you to content appearing on Eagles' playcall signs

Eagles forced to pay millions of dollars to use the copyrighted material when signaling plays from the sideline. "It's well worth it," said team owner, Jeffrey Lurie. "Absolutely worth it." (United Artists claims image from Rocky on signal card gives away ending of film.)

Family 'sort of annoyed' that soldier planned no elaborate surprise return for the holidays

"We picked him up at the airport after he sent us an email about a week ago that he was coming home for Christmas," said the soldier's father. "I mean, I'm thrilled that he's home, but, c'mon, put some effort into your arrival, man."

Year in Review: Temple Univ. cuts 7 sports to ease relocation process of main campus to Indiana

"Yep, we're moving the University to Indiana," said Temple University president Neil D Theobald, a Midwest native and recent Hoosier resident. "We're trying to lighten the load of the move and decided to cut seven sports programs. Now, we don't have to transport all that athletic equipment. Moving is the worst." 

SEPTA restarts construction of Broad Street Trolley after state passes $2.3 billion transportation bill

Above: In August 2012, workers were rapidly laying track for the new Broad Street Trolley Line in South Philadelphia near the stadium complex. SEPTA abruptly suspended the project last year, which will run from Pattison Avenue to Fern Rock Transportation Center when complete--a distance of nearly ten miles--after failing to secure needed funding to continue construction. The financial problem was (surprisingly?) solved after Pennsylvania passed a $2.3 billion (multi-modal) transportation bill at the end of November. "The passing of that bill saved the Broad Street Trolley Line," said Jim Copperfield, managing co-director of rail expansion at SEPTA. "The new line--I don't even want to mention the total cost--will provide a second great option for transit users to negotiate the City's main north-south thoroughfare. It will complement the Broad Street Subway, which already covers the exact same route...but underground. We really needed this bill passed to resume this rail project." Work began on the line in June 2012, between Pattison Avenue and Mifflin Street, where one and a half miles of track were put in place by the end of that summer. The new trolley will effectively replace the former C Bus route, which at one time provided a surface transit option for Broad Street. Not everyone is on board with the plan: "Broad Street has the subway, it DOES NOT need a trolley--period," said PA Senator Allen Bourne. "These funds should be used to provide hourly hovercraft service along the Schuylkill River to ease congestion on the [I-76] Expressway."

Year in Review: GM of struggling 2-6 Texans admits to 'almost firing coach during hospital visit'

"He was asleep during the entire visit and leaving a note was totally inappropriate."