Phillies: 'Interleague play is dumb. It really is a terrible invention. One of the worst inventions.'

Interview: The three-ring binder inventor

WilliamPennmanship was fortune enough to sit down with Gunther Hillsborough, the inventor of the three-ring binder at his home in Ardmore, Pa. In this heartfelt sitdown the 71 year-old opens up like never before. He dodges questions about his run-ins with the law and evades the entire Avalon,NJ topic. He also fails to address the ATV accident and his love of floating billiards tables. But he does touch on his major competitor from the 1970's and 80's.

WP: Thanks for taking the time to talk today. I'm going to start with a very difficult question. One you may have avoided in the past, but I'd really like your thoughts. What did the creation of the Trapper Keeper mean to you in the 1970's?

GH: Ahh. You do like to start with the tough ones. To be honest I thought I was finished. Absolutely done. I had this great product and it was doing very well and all the sudden this "super-binder" comes on to the market. I was like where in God's name did this thing come from?

WP: So you had no idea that this "thing" was being developed?

GH: I mean there were very quiet rumors floating around, but I can remember thinking that no person or thing could create this "super-power-binder" that was being talked about. I passed it off and didn't believe it.

WP: So what was your reaction when you first saw the Trapper Keeper in stores.

GH: Well, the first time I saw it was when I was dropping my youngest son off at school and a child on the sidewalk was holding one. I called the child over to the car and said what the hell is holding all of your papers like that? He said it was a Trapper Keeper. Trapper Keeper? After my son got out of the car I sobbed uncontrollably for an hour. Ask my wife. Also ask my wife and she will tell you that for three days after it came out I was convinced the Trapper Keeper was left behind by some alien space craft.

WP: So you thought that was it?

GH: I really did. I tried coming up with all these ideas to improve my binder to make one last stand. Should I add a fourth ring to the three-ring binder? Should I take away a ring and make it two? I panicked and in the end I simply added two small pockets for holding paper on the inside of the front and back covers.

WP: Genius. Unreal. When did you come up with the idea to sell paper that had three holes punched in it?

GH: There are some things I can't discuss.

Easton,Pa tries to lure Penn's Landing upriver

Philadelphia may have hit another bump in its never-ending journey to develop its waterfront if Penn's Landing decides to relocate to Easton, Pa. The town, about 70 miles upstream from Philadelphia, has made a generous offer that includes a lifetime supply of crayons.

Firework group to protest during Welcome America festivities

The group known as No S'in Firework plans to hold several peaceful protests in Philadelphia during the city's hugely popular Welcome America celebration- the country's largest.

The Atlantic City-based organization has been calling for a change in the spelling of the word 'fireworks' for almost a year.

President of the group, Paulie Francis explains. "The word fireworks should not contain an 's' at the end. Firework should be both singular and plural. It was how the word was spelled thousands of years ago and the government added the 's' in really recent times not in olden times."

"'I like to go see the firework. Did you see the plethora of firework?' It sounds a lot more...it flows better. It seriously does," said No S'in Firework member, Donna Green.

The city has taken precautions for the planned demonstration in Love Park set for next Tuesday.

"We assigned our sole Segway cruiser to police the group. That should be plenty. This particular Segway is equipped with cup holders and a built-in bottle opener," said Philadelphia Police Commissioner, Charles Ramsey.

How will they protest? The group wouldn't say, but noted that they have been saving empty tennis ball cans for months.

It should also be noted that the group advocates firework safety especially over the July 4th holiday.

Price of corn, elephant eyes very high

You've heard the saying 'where corn is as high as an elephant's eye.' It used to refer only to the height of corn particularly in Iowa. But the saying is also holding true for the price of corn and the price of elephant eyes.

Corn prices have soared to around $8 per bushel as of yesterday. Partially due to the Midwest flooding, speculators and largely because of anticipated ethanol demands for fuel.

On the other end (of the saying) are elephant eyes. Where corn prices have doubled in the last year elephant eye prices have nearly tripled to $10 per handful.

"Oh, there's a huge demand for elephant eyes right now. Many energy experts have their sights set on them. They think they would allow us to see a new path to alternative energy sources," said Gibbon Dorset, forest ranger in Africa's Serengeti.

In Pennsylvania, because of soil type and climate, corn only reaches the height of an elephant's upper leg (as the saying goes). But prices of elephant upper legs have remained relatively low in comparison. As of this morning upper legs were trading for $0.79 per small duffel bag.

"Here in the Keystone corn and elephant upper legs are not the same price when it comes to the saying: Pennsylvania, where corn is as high as an elephant's upper leg. It just don't work," said Centre County farmer, Clyde Sorndale.

Poison Ivy Powers Little Leaguer

Damon Latti was partaking in a yard clean up day at his grandparents house when he developed a severe case of poison ivy. The "weeds" he thought he was weeding turned out to be the rash-giving ivy. "I just thought it was regular ivy. I've never liked poison ivy, never," said Latti, 12, of Upper Pillsgrove, PA.

The itching, scratching and swelling were so bad that it forced the Latti's to make a visit to the family doctor. "It was so bad that it made me rather uncomfortable," said Dr Miles Kinter.

Because of the severity of the rash Kinter put Damon on a steroid to help the healing process. Three shots of corticosteroid were injected into his upper arm.

Within two days the child had gained 20 pounds and his head size increased by a third. "We had to order a special batting helmet. The kind that's a lot bigger," said League vice president, Charles McGilicuddy.

In his first game on the "ivy-juice" Latti belted three homeruns totaling 750 feet. "I love poison ivy," said Latti, a shortstop.

By week's end the entire lineup of the Cougars had developed the ivy rash and were trading ivy leaves instead of baseball cards. Two other teams in the league had volunteered to clear the weeds under the bleachers.

The Upper Pillsgrove Little League has a strict steroid policy, but poison ivy is the lone loophole. "There's nothing we can do. They found a way around the rules. Koodos to them. I really respect that," said McGillicuddy.

Temporary cable crossing at South Street being considered

As construction looms on the South Street Bridge, the city is making plans for the traffic and logistical nightmares that will plague the neighborhoods linked by the crumbling span.

One idea being seriously considered by the city is a cable crossing that would be set up just south of the bridge's current location.

"Cable crossings are slow and dangerous but very economical," said Harold Comtier, owner of Cable Solutions Inc., a Bridgeport, PA company. "That's how I make a living, but I wouldn't be caught on one."

The design being considered would allow for one adult or two small children to cross over the Schuylkill River at one time. Passengers would be strapped to a pulley and pulled across by individuals on the destination side.

There would also be a "Sky Club," which would be a lounge-type area for frequent crossers.

"Each side would have a trailer that would act as a lounge for our privileged travelers," said Comtier. "Things like free coffee and nice leather chairs will welcome the cable travelers. Oh, and cable television. Pun intended."

City Council member Donna Miller is a little concerned for the safety of children. "Children will be crossing the river to get to school. I think they should be given some sort of snack."

Many residents in the neighborhoods affected by the bridge closing echoed Miller's concern for snacks.

"Bottom line is the kids need to get a snack," said Graduate Hospital resident, Debbie Tuliver. "Some sort of snack should be provided."

Hundreds of Iowa farmers admit to shooting at river to combat rising waters

Disappointed Bruins hang up purple and gold

Marc Savard took off his Kobe Bryant jersey rolled it into a ball and threw it violently into the garage door of Boston Bruins Vice President Cam Neely. The Bruins center was expressing his displeasure in the clinching victory by the Boston Celtics on Tuesday night.

Teary-eyed goalie Alex Auld stopped dribbling his purple and gold basketball long enough to punt the ball into the neighbor's yard after the final buzzer sounded.

Neely hosted a party at his suburban Boston home for all Bruins players and front office personnel. "I wanted to have the gang over to cheer for the Celtics. We all cheer for one another in this city," said Neely in his purple Lamar Odom warm up suit.

Sequoia-like defenseman Zdeno Chara showed up donning a purple and gold Lakers hard hat. "I do construction in the off-season. Sometimes in Orange County."

The Celtics victory put the lowly Bruins in a very uncomfortable position. They are the lone team of Boston's four major sports franchises not included in the city's recent string of professional championships.

"Before Tuesday we were buddies, bad at what we did, but we were still buddies. That brought us closer. Now this buddy has decided to take a knife and...win a championship," said Neely. "I can't believe they did this."

Coach Peter Chiarelli likened the situation to Gilligan's Island. "It's like for some reason everyone on the island got rescued except for Gilligan and the Skipper. And then one day Gilligan wakes up and the Skipper is gone...rescued. Yeah, it's a lot like that."



The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl in 2001, 2002 and 2004. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and 2007. And the Celtics joined the club this year. Six trophies in seven years has made the citizens of Boston feel as if the streets are paved in beans.

"I'm very proud to officially welcome the Celtics into the 'City of Champions.' I would also like to have a moment of silence for the only team not in the club," said Boston Mayor, Thomas M. Menino, addressing the crowd at the TD Banknorth Garden after the Celtics victory.

Neely and Chiarelli plan to meet with Celtics coach Doc Rivers sometime later this week. Neely talked with Celtics GM Danny Ainge and owner Wycliffe Grousbeck early Wednesday morning. Details were not discussed, but each hinted that the relationship could be repaired unlike the S.S. Minnow.

Optimus Prime snubs fans after filming at Eastern State

The sequel to the box office hit Transformers, Transformers II, is being filmed in Philadelphia this month at various locations throughout the city.

Yesterday, the cast and crew set up in Fairmount's Eastern State Penitentiary for a day of filming. Fans began to gather around the prison's 30ft walls when onlookers glimpsed the top of Optimus Prime's head. The leader of the Autobots changes into a tractor trailer when not in robot form.

"I was just walking minding my own business when I saw Prime and I began yelling his name as loud as I could. My voice really hurts right now. It's weird because I know most of the robots don't like to do filming on-location," said Claus Von Derman, a Fairmount resident.

Optimus Prime's contract for Transformers II requires the popular robot to attend at least three on-location filming sessions. In the prequel Prime demanded only studio sets.


The robot is notorious for being very unfriendly to fans who gather near film sets. In 1985 Prime changed into a truck on a Los Angeles street and crushed a teenager's 10-speed. He later claimed that he did not see the bike, which became lodged in his leg joint.

Before leaving the Penitentiary Optimus Prime changed back into an 18-wheeler and drove from the castle-like prison unnoticed.

"I can't believe I didn't notice that was him. I was totally looking for Prime the robot. He does that all the time too. I really should have expected the 18-wheeler trick," said Von Derman.

Sosa partners with Schmidt to provide cork for wine

Mike Schmidt revealed today that Sammy Sosa has joined the Hall of Fame third baseman in creating 'Schmidt 548,' his new wine that will arrive in state stores this coming weekend. Schmidt chose the name not only because it is his favorite number but because it represents his career homerun total.

Sosa will provide cork for one in ten bottles sold from his vast bat collection. Cork, when inserted into a bat, is believed to help baseballs travel further upon contact.

When asked why he partnered with Schmidt instead of launching his own line of wine Sosa replied,"Es goo to av epardner dat ace goo. Schmitty goo."

Schmidt described the partnership as strictly a way into the greater Chicago-land wine market where Sosa walked on the Lake Michigan water not all that long ago. And to a lesser extent the greater Baltimore area where Sosa spent one season. Although he also spent a couple of seasons in Texas the two agreed wine would not sell in the lonestar state.

"He's got all this cork and it's just all lying around and I got to thinking. What I came up with was this," said a glowing Schmidt, referring to the cork partnership.

The cork will be removed from the bats and turned into wine corks with the de-corkenator, an expensive, highly sensitive instrument made by Corkton Inc. in Lewisburg, PA.

Some may remember the machine's debut seven years ago when Corky, the star from TV's Life Goes On, appeared in commercials for MLB warning players not to use cork. "Don't you dare use cork, oo blah dee blah da!"

Schmidt is excited about the partnership and did not appear disappointed that he could not reach an agreement with Mark Maguire (Bay Area and St Louis) or Jose Canseco (Bay Area). "It didn't happen so I moved on, even if it would have satisfied our cork need for some time."

Heatwave forces Rita's to sell Italian Water Water

Official's at Rita's water ice and ice cream shops are unable to produce the ice needed to make water ice during this uncharacteristic and stifling June heatwave and will only be selling Italian water.

"We just can't make the "ice" in water ice right now. We can only sell Italian water during these brutal temperatures," said Dan Glostenoni, owner of a Rita's franchise in University City.

Glostenoni went on to say that the Italian water will be high quality spring water and will be "pretty darn cold and good."

Earlier this week several children cried uncontrollably upon leaving the store and seeing the water ice in their hand enter the liquid state.

"When I look at my cup it reminds me of how the polar ice caps are melting because of our addiction to fossil fuels," said a teary-eyed Madison Frink, 8, while drinking her cherry water ice.

Frink was one of the last customers to be served a water ice. "It's sort of special that my daughter got one of the last water ice during the heatwave," said Debbie Frink.

Rita's plans to begin making it's most popular dessert once the temperature begins to fall. However, Glostenoni said sales of Italian water liquid (as he likes to call it) are very strong in the two days it has been on the menu.

'We lost everything, but this dryer chair with hood dryer.'

A fire ripped through Combs, Brushes and Scissors, a beauty salon in Britain's Corner, PA, late on Monday night.

"We lost everything, but this dryer chair with hood dryer. I guess we're pretty lucky considering. I look at the hood part of the chair and I think,'what would we have done if the hood part went up in smoke,'" said Gail Smith, owner of the salon.

As tears ran down Smith's soot covered cheeks creating small streaks, she attempted to recall opening day of the shop in 1996. "I just can't believe the hood part is still here. And it's fully functioning. Please, sit down."

As I sat down in the chair Gail's tears seemed to pour faster as she finally realized the chair was not plugged in. Nor would it be anytime soon.

The Britain's Corner Police placed handcuffs on Smith and lead her to the unmarked car that had arrived without sound. As they pulled away Smith yelled,"Combs, Brushes, Scissors and... Dryer Chair with Hood Dryer."

Only fitting for Griffey to hit 600 in Phila; Hall of Fame to attend games?

Sitting on 599 homeruns, Cincinnati Reds outfielder,Ken Griffey Jr took to the road this week with a four-game series against the Phillies in Philadelphia. Many in the media feel that the City of Brotherly Love would not embrace Griffey's milestone.

Griffey disagreed,"Naw, it's a great place, I have many great memories here in this city on the Delaware."

Interestingly enough Griffey hit his 100th, 200th, 300th, 400th and 500th homeruns all here in Philadelphia. This has only happened to one other player. Willie Mays hit all of the above numbers in St. Louis, but his 600th occurred in Toronto's Sky Dome.

"Not only is 600 big, but doing all the big ones in the same city would be truly remarkable," said Philadelphia Inquirer columnist, Kevin Cornison.

Bigger yet may be the excitement growing among Philadelphia's baseball fans. Rightfield seats in Citizens Bank Park sold out less than two hours after the Reds Sunday game ended where number 600 failed to occur.

One Phillies fan explained one scenario if he caught the ball. "If I catch number 600 I'll hope that I also catch 601 in the same game. I would then keep the real 600 and sell the 601. But I would tell people that 601 was really 600. I would later sell the real 600, but not very publicly. Does that make sense?"

Rumors that the Baseball Hall of Fame purchased all of the rightfield seats for the series in an effort to bring the ball to Cooperstown were denied.

"Buying all of those tickets and placing Hall of Fame employees in the seats all just to claim a ball is...well, it's just...not a bad idea. But something we would never do. At least not all of the seats."

Mendte breaks story about Mendte

CBS3 anchorman Larry Mendte has been credited for breaking the story about an FBI investigation into whether or not Larry Mendte wrongly hacked into, former co-anchorwoman, Alicia Lane's email account.

Mendte reported,"But the big story on CBS3 tonight is an FBI investigation centered on my actions to hack into a former co-worker's email account. Later in the broadcast I will interview myself, an exclusive to CBS3 News."

As the interview took place the broadcast went to a split screen. One view of a live Mendte sitting at the anchor desk and a second view of Mendte in a still photo wearing casual clothing. When live Mendte would finish asking a question the screen switched from split to a full shot of the still photo for the answer.

"That's a very good question Larry, but at this time I am not permitted to comment on that," said Mendte, when asked by himself about his email password.

Mendte, obsessed with the exclusivity of the interview, often reminded viewers throughout the broadcast that "this is an interview only seen on CBS3."

MLB to measure Citizens Bank Park plate

Major League Baseball has announced that they will investigate reports that the Citizens Bank Park home plate is slightly larger than the league's other twenty-nine plates. A regulation plate has a perimeter of 58 inches.

The Phillies are currently the hottest offense in the league scoring 15, 20, 7, 6, and 12 runs respectively over their last five games.

"Obviously a larger home plate can lead to greater run production. In some cases the increase can be significant," said MLB's director of outfield wall padding installation, Gary Ligle.

Ligle referenced the 1894 Boston Harbors(moved to Wilmington, DE in 1896 and defunct by 1897) who averaged 9.7 runs per game. The Harbors, who easily won the World Series that year, were later stripped of their crown when it was discovered that Beanton Field had a non-regulation size home plate. The plate was two inches larger than the required size.

Some have brought up the point that both teams playing in Citizens Bank Park use the same plate and so it should not benefit one team over the other.

"If they[Phillies] know the plate is larger, than it is a huge psychological advantage," said MLB director of psychology, Dean Travers.

During yesterday's game Florida Marlins outfielder Jacque Jones came to the plate with a ruler, but was turned away by the umpire.

The Phillies have denied any wrong doing and have invited league officials to measure the plate provided they use the tape measure used by the team's ground crew.

"It's a good tape measure. We just feel that they would be better off with the tape measure we supply," said Phillies representative, Scott Doily.

PECO denies ties to OPEC

PECO(Philadelphia Electric Company) has issued a public statement denying all rumors that the company is linked to OPEC(Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries).

"Look at the name," said oil expert, Greg Dorzil,"they just moved the 'O' to the beginning, thinking that they were going to fool everyone."

While it's true that moving the 'O' to the beginning of PECO forms OPEC, the connection seems to end there. "The connection ends there," said PECO regional grid operator, Shane Tordini. "Talk to OPEC. How do you know they didn't move the 'O' to the end and started PECO?"

A very good point Mr Todini. A very good point indeed.

Phils to replace home plate

The Phillies have announced that they will be replacing home plate at Citizens Bank Park before tomorrow's final game with the Colorado Rockies. The home team has given the plate, the stadium's original, a pounding by scoring 27 runs in two nights. "It's simply worn out," said Tim Frankton, the Phillies base and plate replacer.

Including Sunday's game in Houston the Phils have scored a total of 42 runs over three games. "We're lucky the Sunday game was on the road," said Citizens Bank Park ground crew manager, Hank Borland. "We may have had to replace the plate earlier if it was at home and I would have been left with huge helpings of egg on my face had I missed a home game."

'I could've sworn that Memorial Day was the one with fireworks.'

Schuylkill Beach not the hit some thought it would be

Fairmount Park, Schuylkill Banks and the City of Philadelphia launched Schuylkill Beach on Friday to kick off the summer season in Center City. The total cost of the project was $5,000, which was $55,000 under the estimated cost.

"We really didn't have to do much. Most of the money spent went towards hiring a lifeguard. Who, incidentally, called in sick both Friday and Saturday leaving me to man the chair," said Garry Tumble, head of River Beach Phila., a division of the Constitution Center.

The aim of the beach is to provide downtown residents a viable beach option within Center City limits. There is also hope that the new beach will lure some of the Pennsylvania residents that annually leave the state for New Jersey's ocean front resort towns.

"Schuylkill Beach may not have a boardwalk, rides, atmosphere, waves, salt water, swimming, surfing or edible fish, but we do have a 'no beach tags' policy," said Tumble. This policy alone is expected to draw 10-20 people.

The beach is located on the Schuylkill River next to the busy recreation trail that leads to Valley Forge. It is just south of both the Spring Garden St and Dr Martin Luther King Jr bridges.

Beach goers must navigate the steep twenty feet embankment to reach the sand. There are no steps or path down to the water's edge. "It was a cost thing. You just kind of have to go for it," said Schuylkill Banks director of sales, Jackie Meltz.

Swimming is not permitted at the beach, but officials feel this won't turn people away. "You're really not suppose to swim but if someone happens to go into the water and swim, we probably won't say anything," said Meltz.

The beach is only accessible during low tides. "Most city residents don't realize the lower Schuylkill is affected by tides," said Dan Hix, head of the Department of City Tides. The tides only reveal the beach for several hours a day.

The beach can comfortably accommodate between 300 and 350 sun seekers when the tide is at it's lowest. "It's a first come first serve basis and because there is so little room the bathers in the front will be asked to vacate the beach first as the tide creeps in," said Meltz.

The three-day holiday weekend only drew eight total residents to the river beach. "We didn't advertise and I didn't really tell anyone about it and it's only the first weekend of the summer," said Tumble, trying to explain the disappointingly low turnout.

When asked how he heard about the beach one bather responded,"I didn't. I just came down here to enjoy some sun, sand, beach, and some light swimming."

Another beach visitor originally from Chicago said,"It's like Lake Michigan. I look out onto the Schuylkill and it takes me to Lake Michigan."

Crowd storms museum in search of gold

A reported crowd of roughly 2,000 stormed the Philadelphia Museum of Art earlier today looking for a pot of gold. The rioters followed the rainbow which led them to one of the city's most recognizable buildings.

"They pushed their way past security and kept yelling,'where's the gold, where's the gold. Most shouted,'we're gonna be rich, rich I tell ya," said museum director of frames and framing, Gorland DeWane.

One gold seeker speed walked down the European Art corridor,"You're not suppose to run in the museum, but then again you're not suppose to storm the museum in search of a pot of gold." At this the man began a full sprint toward the Egyptian Art room.

Though no gold was discovered by the crowd their spirits were unexpectedly high upon exit and the museum registered 1100 new members. "That's a good number of new members from an angry mob. We were shooting for the 850 to 900 range," said DeWane.

Art Museum to offer audio tour of construction rock waste

If you've ventured to the west side of the Philadelphia Museum of Art recently you've noticed a field of boulders adjacent to the nearly finished parking garage. The large rocks are a direct result of the excavation required by the large, unending garage construction project.

The rocks are a definite eye sore for the area, but the museum would still like to profit from the construction waste. "Beginning next Monday we will be offering audio tours of the rock waste," said museum public affairs coordinator, Sarah Higgins.

The voice of the tour will be Alex Trebek's younger brother Dillon Trebek. "Dillon has done great work for tours around the country and Central America in the 1980's. He really captures the audience by whispering the facts and figures," said Higgins.

The younger Trebek is most well known for organizing clapping competitions in the Seattle-Tacoma area. "I want to get out of clapping and back into lending my voice to touring. I'm so done with clapping," said Trebek.

The tour will cover how the rocks arrived at their current location, list the weight of each rock(there are 439) and ask the audience about their favorite rock. A virtual Dillon Trebek will appear on the highest rock when tour participants pass the halfway point.

The 40 minute tour will cost $12 and move in a clockwise direction around the fenced-in area. Rock climbing will not be permitted.

A lemon in Mellon

Crosby lets Flyers know Pittsburgh has more bridges

Pittsburgh Penguins forward Sydney Crosby has been exchanging trash talk with Flyers players throughout the Eastern Conference Finals. Crosby apparently likes to point out city facts during play.

"He's been yapping this whole series," said Flyers forward Mike Richards. "He always brings up how many bridges Pittsburgh has during scrums and face-offs."

Richards noted that two off-season goals are to improve his conditioning and to use satellite photos of the steel city to determine the actual number of bridges. "I could use google maps, but I want something a little more official."

The municipality claims to have 446 bridges, which is the most of any city in the United States. Efforts to lengthen a 447th bridge by one foot to the 20ft required length that defines a bridge were unsuccessful last October.

"They have three rivers, what do you expect?" said defenseman, Randy Jones. "We only have two rivers and some large creeks, but I don't think if you added up our creeks it would equal their third river."

"Monongahela is a Native American word meaning river that joins with another river to form a third, larger river," said Crosby.

Owner: 'Don't count Eight Belles out of Preakness just yet.'

North Central PA Univ. arrives one week late for Dad Vail

The North Central Pennsylvania University men's and women's crew teams stood on the sidewalk this morning in absolute shock. After stepping off the bus from a 5-hour drive, Hotel Liberty Freedom employees informed the school that they were one week late for the for the Dad Vail Regatta, nation's largest collegiate rowing competition. Again.

"It's my fault. It's embarrassing because this is the second year in a row that this has happened," said men's coach, Steve Sherman. "All the training and practicing... down the drain."

The school, based in Wellsboro, PA, only began its rowing program five years ago after dropping football and auto racing. The team also has arguably the most pristine training site in the state-Pine Creek Gorge. Also known as the Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania.

School budget constraints limit the team to one race per season, which is the Dad Vail in Philadelphia. "We've trained all of May for this race and now...wammo," said coxswain, Garth Meddows. Meddows sets the pace for rower Tim Hatreal making the school first and only in the country to use a coxswain for a one-man scull.

"It's sad because we promised that 25% of our winnings would be donated to Wellsboro-area charities," said Sherman.

The Schuylkill River Rangers permitted NCPU to row the course one time this afternoon in recognition of their efforts to arrive in Philadelphia. Afterwards the team posed for pictures around the the John Kelly statue near the river's grandstands.

View Larger Map

Pharmaceutical company to make medicine balls

Pharmaceutical giant Merck & Co.,Inc. has decided to branch into the ultra-competitive medicine ball market. The company, which was founded in 1891, actually produced the exercise ball from 1895-1897.

"This is actually a return to the medicine ball market for Merck. It was a staple for nearly two years," said Merck product director, Gary Sawyer. The invention and subsequent popularity of dumbbells in 1896 forced the company to halt production and leave the market.

The announcement of the venture into medicine balls sent stock prices up $0.08 yesterday afternoon as shares hovered around the $40 mark. "This is not a short term move or a long term move. This is meant to benefit the company over the long term and the short term. And, frankly, it's about medicine balls," said Sawyer.

Company officials also hinted that there could be a line of medicine balls that would be filled with various Merck pharmaceuticals. They claimed it would be "the first true medicine ball." In addition some current meds could be manufactured in the shape of tiny medicine balls.

China quake: Dam and band survive

Han Sing, a member of the mega-popular band Three Gorgeous Dames was injured during the 7.8 magnitude earthquake that struck China on Monday.

Sing had been visiting a friend in Chengdu when the apartment complex they were in partially collapsed. The two had been on the eighth floor of the ten story building. "I was writing a song for an upcoming concert in Macao and the shaking and rumbling began and before I knew it I woke up in the hospital with some minor scratches and a slight concussion. I was very lucky," said Sing.

Three Gorges Dam, which the band based its name upon, came through the massive quake unscathed. Engineers had feared the worst when the ground began to tremble.

"First I thought all those years of hard work down the drain. Then I couldn't help but think if I had left my stove on when I left for work today," Ging Yuang, an official from China's Ministry of Engineering.

The dam, the largest in the world, sits on the Yangtze River and has displaced over 1.5 million people since its construction began in 1994. "Construction is just about complete, I would have been pretty embarrassed had the dam failed," said Yuang.

Phila Zoo closes penguin exhibit for remainder of playoff series

One of the Philadelphia Zoo's most popular exhibits will be closed for the next several days in a move that is described to "give the home hockey team a boost." The penguin exhibit, located in Bird Valley across from the lemur exhibit, will covered with a giant tarp until the Flyers-Penguins Eastern Conference Final match up is completed.

"Being down 2-0 we thought we would show the Flyers that we here at the zoo fully back them despite our dedicated, methodical care and love we show for penguins everyday," said Hannah Gilthorp, Zoo director of penguin affairs.

Reports that the flight-challenged birds were being mistreated by visitors and some staff members since the playoff series began with Pittsburgh on Friday proved false after the American Zoo and Zoological Task Force completed a full investigation this morning.

"They're just damn lovable in those tuxedos," said AZZTF security officer, Tibet Corzel. "If anything, we uncovered that they've been treated somewhat nicer as many of the visitors to see the penguin display are from Allegheny County."

The zoo is using the idea as a rallying cry and as a marketing campaign to lure more visitors to the zoo. "I'd be lying to you if I said I know what hockey is," said the zoo's marketing director, Flip Donzer.

'It's really just a Mal and a kin. It's not bad. We should be able to stop him.'

Above: Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin scorched the Flyers for two goals in their game one match up of the Eastern Conference Finals. Flyers coach John Stevens analyzed his team's ability to contain the world's best player. "It's really just a Mal and a kin. It's not bad. We should be able to stop him."