'Very bizarre' autographed 5'X5' Phil Knight poster in Chip Kelly's office making entire coaching staff uncomfortable

The assistant coaches will compete in a best-of-seven rocks-papers-scissors tournament at some point to decide who will approach and convince the head coach to remove the poster. "It's strange," said one Eagles' assistant position coach, "even though Phil has sun glasses on in the poster his eyes follow you wherever you are in the room."

Judge rules playground maker to pay family $1.2 million for failing to have 'may attract bears' warning label on box

No one was hurt and the small, frightened bear was on the play set for just over five minutes before wandering off. Judge: "A bear warning should really be on the box."

Sister Cities Park new wave pool powered by solar energy

Philadelphia--The question was never should a wave pool be installed in Sister Cities Park. The question has long been how to sustainably power a wave pool once it was installed? The answer: the sun. Over the spring, much of the shallow children's pond adjacent to the park's green-roof capped cafe was replaced with a state-of-the-art Olympic 1000 wave pool. Solar panels affixed to nearby streetlights and on the south-facing facade of the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul provide just over 85 percent of the needed electricity for the pumps and high pressure water jets. "There are still a few kinks to work out," said Jeff Sillenger, a Brotherly Love Parks and Recreation official. "Like, when a cloud passes overhead a boogie boarder can become stranded in the pool for a minute or so. There's no doubt that our battery backup system needs some refining." The park, just east of Logan Circle on 18th St., which saw huge crowds before the tide came in, has been booming since the installation and is expected to only grow more popular over the hot summer months. "The wave pool is great," said Becky Donald, 31, a resident of Fairmount, standing with her two young daughters who could not take their eyes of the park's newest addition. "But, even greater is the harnessing of the sun. Our family calls the wave pool the Sun-ami."

Lincoln Financial Field upgrades: All bathroom stall doors to be replaced with hanging beads

Above: Several Lincoln Financial Field restrooms will get a meerkat-themed beaded/bamboo hanging stall door makeover. All restrooms will get beaded doors from one of over twenty themes.

South Philadelphia--The Eagles are making some changes to ten-year-old Lincoln Financial Field with new HD jumbo video screens, additional seating, better connections between upper-level seating sections, and much-needed relief to the painfully slow stadium entry process. But what has fans abuzz (and the league investigating) is the announcement that all men's and women's restroom stall doors will be replaced with hanging beaded/bamboo curtains. The team hopes the new, significantly less private stall doors will help improve and speed up the bathroom experience for all fans. "I don't mean to sound crass, but you got guys and gals that will literally set up shop when they're in the restroom stalls at the Linc," said Eagles' owner Jeffrey Lurie. "Trust me, I hear stories. We want people to be comfortable but not too comfortable. You know, get in, take care of business, and get out. No checking smartphones or any of that nonsense. We think the beaded doors will speed up the whole bathroom experience by making bowel relievers uncomfortable to the point that they will hasten the whole process considerably. Plus, the doors look really cool. Every doorway in my college apartment in Worcester had them." One NFL executive, who wanted to remain anonymous, said "this is a disaster waiting to happen." We'll see come the fall (literally).

USGA declares Merion the Librarian mascot a 'frightening failure'

Above: The Merion the Librarian mascot high-fives fans while following 2013 U.S. Open runner-up Phil Mickelson.

Ardmore, PA--Everybody knows The Music Man, or so the United States Golf Association (USGA) and Merion Golf Club thought. The organizers and host of the just-completed U.S. Open were positive that the catchy songs and lovable characters of the 1957 Broadway musical (and the 1962 and 2003 films) would connect with all fans young and old. In 1993, the musical was celebrated on an episode of the Simpsons, where the salesman was peddling monorails instead of musical instruments. One of the main characters from the musical was Marian Paroo (Marian the Librarian), the love interest of salesman/con man Harold Hill. Merion teamed up with the USGA to create a Merion the Librarian mascot to meander the course to encourage "library speaking voice volumes." "We wanted a well-known character that fans could relate to, that was a play on the club's name, and encouraged quietness and proper behavior on the course. We also wanted a character that would be kid-friendly," said Merion's director of fan relations, Darryl Evanston. Well, for four days, Merion the Librarian said not a word to the throngs of golf enthusiasts that packed the East Course, but only put her left index finger to her lips to indicate quiet. "Yeah, it backfired big time," continued Evanston, referring to the creation of the mascot. "She scared the crap out kids and just generally made everyone uncomfortable for nearly a week." The USGA and Merion admitted that the reputation of Philadelphia fans was one of the main reasons behind the making of the mascot. "The crowds were absolutely fantastic, and, much to our misjudgment, it had nothing to do with Merion the Librarian.

Above:  Marian and Harold in the 1962 film: The Music Man

Report: Chase offered NY over $50 million to sponsor bike-sharing

New York City--Citibank paid $41 million dollars to be the main sponsor for New York's controversial bike-share program for five years. Citi Bike, a collection of 6,000 blue bicycles scattered over lower Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn, allows commuting Big Applers to take short (no more than 45 minutes) trips from strategically placed bike station to strategically placed bike station. Chicago-based Chase Bank reportedly offered nearly $50 million for the naming rights to the country's largest bike-share program, but was turned down by the city. "In the end we simply felt that the word Chase--Chase Bike or Bike Chase--would become a running joke and perhaps lead to unsafe riding and driving conditions: either by bikes chasing bikes, bikes chasing cars, cars chasing bikes, pedestrians chasing bikes, or bikes chasing pedestrians. We lost a few million bucks by not going with Chase, but we feel we may have saved a whole lot of lives," explained Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

USGA, Merion reinstate grounds crew member suspended for wearing baggy rain pants

Above: Blake O'Sullivan donning baggy rain pants uses a squeegee on the 16th fairway. 

Ardmore, PA--The heavy rains over the last week in southeastern PA has not only caused delays in tee times, but has sparked a pants controversy at the U.S. Open. Yes, a pants dispute. "I just want this whole mess to be over with," said Blake O'Sullivan, 26, a grounds crew member at Merion Golf Club, host of this year's Open. "My baggy pants have become the story of the tournament and that is not at all what I intended. I didn't intend anything." The Narberth, PA, resident said he was in the grounds crew locker room and received a call to report "asap" to the 16th fairway to squeegee the rain-soaked hole, as the course has been battered by precipitation since last Friday. O'Sullivan "grabbed the only pair of rain pants" he saw and ran to the 16th to join the rest of the crew, all the while pulling the surprisingly large rain gear over his jeans during the frantic jog there. "It turns out that I grabbed an XXXL pair of rain pants and I had no time to return to the room and find a proper-fitting pair." On Monday, O'Sullivan was suspended with pay by both the USGA and Merion for "improper inclement weather golf attire" based on Rule Rt-86013-BT-zcx of the USGA grounds crew etiquette handbook. On Wednesday morning, Jesse Jackson led the charge to reinstate the crew member, flying to Philadelphia from Atlanta, and holding a press conference directly across the street from the East Course. "Did Mr. O'Sullivan demonstrate carelessness? Yes. But the crime does not fit the punishment. The ruling parties have shown great preposterousness." Matt Damon, Will Smith, and Sarah Jessica Parker all joined Jackson at the podium to lead the crowd in a slow clap, fast clap after the announcement that O'Sullivan was reinstated.

U.S. Open: Merion urging, pleading, reminding fans to please drive to course

Above: Merion Golf Club's East Course at the 14th hole with the skyline of Philadelphia in the

background. Tournament organizers are urging fans to skip public transit, carpooling, and private 

shuttles and drive alone to the course. "People, we have plenty of parking, so please drive by 

yourself to the Open,"said one Merion official.

Ardmore, PA--The historic Merion Golf Club in Haverford Township, which has hosted 17 USGA championships since it was established in 1896--more than any other course in the nation--apparently has "more parking than you can shake a one iron at." Course manager Darrell Vesitter: "We want to dispel any rumors that the club is tight on parking. Please arrive by car, in fact, arrive by two cars. We have more parking spaces than the King of Prussia Mall and the South Philly sports complex combined." The club is located in highly developed Delaware County just west of Philadelphia in the first-ring suburbs with very minimal parking. The driving request is extremely unusual--which could cause unprecedented gridlock--given that Amtrak serves Ardmore, PA, just over a mile from the East Course, site of this year's tournament. In addition, SEPTA's regional rail has stops in Haverford and Ardmore, while the Ardmore Avenue stop along the transit agency's high speed line is just steps from one of several entrance gates.

Cole Hamels says record isn't so bad when viewed in a mirror written on a wall behind him...other than the 'whole backwards 9 part'

The pitcher pointed out that a 1-11 record would truly be reversed by a mirror and that he did not know about the trick when he was 1-8. So...

City to food trucks: Achieve at least 5 miles to the gallon by 2015

Under Greenworks Philadelphia, the city's sustainability plan implemented in the spring of 2009,  food trucks have increased fuel efficiency from 0.7 miles per gallon to two miles to the gallon by 2010, and 3.5 by 2011 on average. In 2012, the average fuel efficiency actually dropped to 3.2 miles per gallon.

High Line's new curling sheet to keep park users cool during summer heat

Manhattan--When the plan to install several above-ground pools on the popular High Line elevated park fizzled out in the fall after strong opposition from park users, politicians, and, well, pretty much every one else, officials for the one-mile-long greenway--often teeming with crowds--scrambled to come up with an alternative project. The pools were intended to provide a way for people to keep cool during the sometimes scorching New York humid summers. "We were ready to just scrap any sort of plan for this summer when one of the interns mentioned curling. She said, 'Hey, what about installing a curling court on the lawn to help keep things cool?'" said Elaine Trumwell, president of Friends of Friends of the High Line (a subsidiary of Friends of the High Line). The curling sheet--not a court--was installed over the course of three weeks in late April and early May and has been very well received thus far. Every Thursday and Friday evening from May through August, Friends of Friends of the High Line sponsors prominent curling match-ups between the sport's most talented stone sliders. "On hot days I can read a book while sitting on the curling sheet, and two nights a week I can catch some of the world's best athletes compete right on the High Line," said Dennis Chalmers, 52, of Chelsea. Others were upset about the cold, new neighbor and how it  transforms a tranquil segment of the park into a meeting place for rowdy curling fans. "The lawn was supposed to be a place to gather and just relax," said Karen Andersen, 39, of Hoboken, NJ. "Do we really need curling competitions on the High Line? I mean, seriously?"

Number experiment: French Open first major tennis tournament with numbers on shirts

Paris--In February, the World Tennis Association (WTA) unanimously passed a new rule requiring players to wear numbers on the back and front of their shirts. Based on seniority, the racket toting athletes were asked to choose a number they would like to be associated with before March 15.  The clay courts at Roland Garros will be the first major tournament--or any tournament for that matter--to see the numbers in action firsthand. "The French Open is a testing ground. We feel that the numbers will help fans better identify the players on the courts," said Claude Montreax, special adviser to the WTA and to the world's largest professional clay court tournament. The new numbers are also expected to sell millions of jerseys worldwide, which means hundreds of millions of dollars for the WTA. Many critics of the new rule feel this money is the only reason behind approving such a "preposterous" regulation. "Tennis has a rich tradition and having numbers on shirts insults and contaminates the integrity of the game. There's only two or four players on the court at one time, I think I can figure out who is who without help from numbers. This rule is a total sham," said former tennis star and current tv analyst John McEnroe.  

Family and friends wait excitedly for returning soldier in wrong airport terminal at wrong airport

Loved ones gathered at Newark Liberty International Airport's Terminal B in New Jersey, while the Afghanistan veteran, coming off an 18-month deployment, was due to arrive at LaGuardia Airport's Terminal A. Little did the two sides know that it would be nearly another eight hours before the loving embraces and tears of joy would finally occur.

Preakness Steaks: Swanson hoping to profit from race losers

Nearly 19 years later, Kevin Bacon in Philadelphia to scout locations on lower Schuylkill River for 'The River Wild 2'

Philadelphia--Kevin Bacon has been wanting to make a sequel to the 1994 film "The River Wild" since filming wrapped nearly two decades ago. "I knew we had made a special movie," said Bacon, of the white water rafting flick filmed on several Oregon rivers and co-starring Meryl Streep. "It taught us all valuable life lessons about rafting and strangers and ... I don't know, all that jazz. Not to get too deep, but the river obviously symbolized the vein of life and the water represented blood. The hijacked raft was a blood clot moving through the vein of life." The Philadelphia native is in town to scout locations for the "The River Wild 2: The River Mild," which is set to begin production in late July of this year with Bacon as the director. Though Bacon's character Wade supposedly dies in the original, he makes a return and hunts down Meryl Streep's character for revenge in Philadelphia during a teacher conference where a low-speed chase is carried out somewhere along the tidal Schuylkill River. "I truly believe that a slow-moving, meandering river can offer just as much action and suspense as a torrent," added Bacon. "This is gonna be a thriller."

To ensure skateboarding in new Paine's Skatepark, Mayor bans skateboarding

Philadelphia--Moments after Mayor Michael Nutter cut the ribbon opening the highly anticipated Paine's Skatepark near the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the city's leader did a 180 and banned skating anywhere on the premises. "Today, we open a great skatepark that finally gives the dedicated skating community a first-class facility to perform their craft. So, it is with great pleasure that I now officially ban skating in any portion of this park," announced Nutter to an utterly stunned crowd. "Now, folks, bare with me for a second. My team of advisers has spent  a lot of time analyzing the consequences of this decision. We feel that by banning skating in Paine's Skatepark it will only ensure that the new skatepark is heavily used by skaters. So, keep out, but, you know, enjoy!" The park's founders were very confused by what had just transpired at the podium. "I think I get the strategy of the mayor's decision but not really," said one park official. "Yeah, to be honest, not really at all."

Comcast SportsNet to broadcast Halladay surgery live

Philadelphia--Comcast SportsNet (CSN) anchor and host Michael Barkann will team up with Chris Wheeler, Ike Reese, Ricky Bottalico, and Ray Didinger to broadcast Roy Halladay's arthroscopic shoulder surgery live on CSN from a Los Angeles operating room on Wednesday. "Oh, we'll be bedside to make all the calls and analysis," said Bottalico, former Phillies' pitcher and current CSN baseball analyst. "We will give viewers a play-by-play and get the doctor's thoughts while he's making incisions and scoping." This is a first for the network and Major League Baseball, which expects ratings to go through the roof during the four-hour procedure. "We're expecting big numbers," said Barkann, referring to the potential number of viewers tuning in. "So big that we'll all be wearing surgical masks with the F.C. Kerbeck logo and Chickie's and Pete's scrubs." The broadcast team, which will fly to California on Tuesday, will also live-tweet the event for fans unable to view the procedure on television. "It's funny," said one CSN employee, "we didn't contact the doctor, the doctor contacted us." (Former Pennsylvania Governor and Eagles Post Game Live analyst Ed Rendell will not be making the trek west because he "does not do well with the sight of blood.")

Suburban commuter boldly taking lack of passenger rail service into own hands

The coffee spills on the center console of the two-door, 2007 BMW 300 series--some, perhaps, years old--act as proof (and, incidentally, lint magnets) of the often relentless stop-and-go traffic that is standard on the Schuylkill Expressway, a nearly 25-mile long spur that connects the Pennsylvania Turnpike to central Philadelphia.

The road accounts for more than half of Dave Berstein's daily one-hour-plus commute from Royersford, Pa, a former mill town on the Schuylkill River, to Center City, roughly 32 miles to the southeast. "I don't like to use the word hate, but I really do hate my commute. I want to be able to kick back and read, relax during the journey," said Berstein, an insurance claims adjuster.

Don't let Royersford's nearly 5,000 residents fool you, the borough is part of rapidly growing western Montgomery County. With a population of 800,000, most in the urban and first ring suburban eastern half, the County boasts more people than Boston, D.C., or Baltimore.

Also making up part of Berstein's trek to the city is US Route 422. The spine of the rapidly developing 422 corridor, the highway stretches from King of Prussia to Reading and beyond and threads together portions of Chester, Montgomery, and Berks Counties.

"It wasn't until the 1980s that 422, the highway, was completed in MontCo," said Ben Kalvin, an urban consultant with the sometimes controversial Southeastern Pennsylvania Federation of Counties. "Why, for the most part, large stretches of land adjacent to the highway remained undeveloped for years is somewhat of a mystery. But, western Montgomery is growing now and it needs transportation alternatives to ease pressure on the roads."  

The Delaware Valley, when it comes to national or international congestion reputation, may not rival Los Angeles or Mexico City, but traffic in the tri-state area can crawl, even if it doesn't appear on a top ten roadway congestion list. Traffic can be awful at peak hours, uglier and nastier than a non-Philadelphian's pronunciation of Schuylkill.

Cliff Lee tells Halladay to grow a pear ... tree in the backyard of his offseason home to help take mind off of shoulder issues

Broad Street Run: Organizers quietly add two inches to course, race now longest 10-miler in nation

The Philadelphia race surpassed Houston's 10-miler, which added one inch last year.

Bryzgalov on Flyers missing playoffs: 'It's just very, very disappointed. The whole situation is very not sexy.'

World's 2nd tallest structure and largest tv antenna somehow picking up new episodes of 'Blossom'

PETA wants answers: Were dinosaurs at PIFA Street Fair given sedatives in order to interact with children?

The animal rights group is concerned the dinosaurs were given dangerous amounts of horse tranquilizers in order to safely mingle with the record crowd.

Photos: philly.com

Charles Barkley: 'Honestly, I wish him well, but It would be a little weird for me if Matt Barkley became a star Philly athlete'

Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission requiring Sister Cities Park to register toy boats with state, have proper miniature flotation devices

Harrisburg, PA--The calendar's march toward the warmer months doesn't just signal time for shorts and water ice, it also means the toy sail boats at the hugely popular, one-year-old Sister Cities Park will soon emerge from a long winter of hibernation. The small wind-powered boats will navigate the shallow pond in the park much to the delight of the young wide-eyed onlookers. This season, however, park users may notice something a bit different about the miniature watercraft: a large registration sticker on the sail and action-figure sized, bright orange life jackets on deck.

In an effort to raise revenue, the Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission is requiring toy boats in the Commonwealth over one inch in length which use state waters to register and have aboard the proper number of approved miniature flotation devices. Smaller, appropriately sized registration stickers will not be ready for this coming season. For this reason, all toy boats will unfortunately have to use full-size stickers. This may cause the tiny vessel to heavily list to one side, or cause the bow to hang low into the water, depending on the sticker's placement.

"Why don't they just wait a year," said a frustrated Dan Devlin, a model boat enthusiast from Pennsport in South Philadelphia. "The 3"X2" stickers will affect how the sails take wind and they will also dramatically change the boats center of gravity. Think, PFBC. Just wait until next summer when the tiny stickers are available." Devlin often takes his remote-controlled boat to an undisclosed location on the Delaware River waterfront on summer weekends and weeknights.

Nearing the complete one-stop shop: Home Depot, Lowe's begin selling designer clothing, cars, groceries, electronics

Above: A Home Depot sales associate assists a customer with selecting from a wide variety of milk and other dairy products at the home improvement center's King of Prussia, PA store. Last week, big box chains Home Depot and competitor Lowe's began selling groceries, electronics, automobiles, and designer clothing in hope of attracting new customers. "It is quite remarkable," said Steven Bailey, 51, of Upper Merion, PA, "I can come to Lowe's now and get the 2"X4"s I need to repair my backyard shed, but I can also get that pair of skinny jeans that I ...er, rather, my son has really been wanting." Below: Two Home Depot employees walk past a new designer jeans clothing rack in South Philadelphia after finishing a "Jeans Course." Lowe's and Home Depot are spending millions of dollars to train current employees to be knowledgeable on the new products being offered. "The loops around the waistline are for belts," one sales associate told a waiting customer sarcastically. The news sent Target, Walmart, and Kmart into "panic mode." "We're currently exploring the feasibility of selling lumber and electrical stuff at a handful of our stores," said Target CEO, Stephanie Riversby.  

Bar patron waits four full seconds before cracking smile after requesting main TV be changed over to WNBA Draft

Bartender: "It was the longest four seconds of my life."

The Dump is getting out the mattress business ... again ... but they 'really mean it this time'

Furniture outlet says this is the final, final time that they're getting out of the mattress business, but if you miss out there's another shipment of mattresses on the way.

Smithsonian apologizes for 'being way too pushy' during unsuccessful negotiations to acquire one of Roger Ebert's thumbs

Philadelphia Zoo opens new parking garage using lions: big cats prefer own claws to awkward giant scissors when cutting ribbon

"We worked with the lions for weeks to use the giant scissors during the ribbon-cutting ceremony," said one zoo official. "We spent a lot of money on scissor training. I actually thought they were getting really good at using the scissors. Curling their paws and whatnot. Well, I guess you just have to laugh."