Report: Portland bicycle cops 'still adjusting' to patrol car-strength sirens, lights

Portland, OR--The bicycle law enforcement officers of Oregon's largest city say riding between cars in traffic is a challenge and turning is a bit more difficult with the new automobile-sized lights and sirens installed on the entire fleet of bikes just over one month ago. They also mentioned that balancing is nearly impossible even after an intensive three-week training session led by four semi-retired Cirque du Soleil performers. However, the sirens allow two-wheel-mounted officers to easily pull over motorists and cyclists. "The new sirens may look silly, I'm sure," said Captain James Tammerhill, head of the Portland Police Department. "But, Portland has a biking reputation to protect. Sure, making a simple right- or left-hand turn just got a whole lot more interesting, but these sirens scare the $#@* out of drivers. Hooo, yeah!"