Eagles' owner says recent trip to Netherlands 'in no way influenced' stadium's new sustainable design

South Philadelphia, PA--The Eagles are green. Yes, the team features green uniforms and green stadium seating, has green grass and makes an awful lot of green on Sundays. The Eagles are also green by aggressively recycling, planting trees to offset emissions from flying to distant road games and utilizing biodegradable cups at the stadium's concessions.

However, now the team is going "fully" green. Already one of the most environmentally conscience teams in the league, the franchise is installing 350 Dutch-style windmills at Lincoln Financial Field--in the stands, on the roof, on the concourses and, unbelievably, on the field--to meet the venue's insatiable energy needs.

"Yes, I was in the Netherlands for two weeks in July. Yes, I saw plenty of windmills while I was there. And yes, I thought they would look really cool in Lincoln Financial Field. But, in no way did those windmills influence my recent design to make the stadium self sustainable," said Eagles' owner Jeffrey Lurie, at the press conference announcing the team's intention to be removed from the city's power grid in the near future.

After installation, the roar of the crowd may be diminished but for a good cause.

"We'll only be losing 5,000 or so seats to accommodate the new windmills," said Lurie. "It's worth the loss in revenue to get clean, renewable wind energy."

In addition to losing capacity, several seating areas will prohibit fans from standing during the game as windmill blades will pass inches overhead from a seated spectator. Even tall hats, high hairdo's and raising one's arms will be banned in certain sections.

"All the specifics are not finalized, but we thought that in the hotter months of the season and preseason that the windmills could also act as a cooling device for fans," said Joe Banner, Eagles' president. "Oh, by the way, I've never been to the Netherlands."

The NFL is behind the Eagles 100%, so much so that the windmills placed on the playing fields, approval Lurie thought they would never receive, was passed unanimously by the league's board.

"We're under some pressure right now to promote a more sustainable league," said Roger Goodell, the NFL's commissioner. "Losing minimal field space is really not that big of an issue. I would not let that be a deal breaker. As long as player collisions with windmills don't cause concussions, then I don't care."

The team will also be installing 1100 solar panels on the site that will power the windmills on non-windy days. On cloudy, windy days, the windmills will power the solar panels.

One of the design's critics, architect Sara Stevenson, says,"If this plan goes through, you can kiss those sweet-ass sight lines good bye. Can you say, 'Ba-bye sightlines?"