Four spectators dead, two seriously wounded in debut of aerial biathlon

Above: Twisting, turning aerial skiers were unable to control
rifle accuracy in midair, often missing targets by large margins.

Vancouver, B.C.--"Aerial biathlon seemed like a really good idea three years ago, but we're really going to sit down next month and study whether this event should continue in the next Olympics," said IOC president Pierre Bonne. "We will go on with the event as planned this year simply because the athletes have worked so hard to get here. I want to reassure our fans and say that, as we speak, we are installing bulletproof glass in front of all seating areas. Plus, we'll have half price tickets, dollar hot dogs, t-shirt giveaways and snow cones for the kids. So, come on back."