"It was only supposed to rise about ten feet off the ground," said a movie screen rental employee. "It was a publicity stunt that went very wrong. Please keep your eyes out for a large, inflatable movie screen, last spotted floating southwest."
Monday, July 28, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
World Cup: New Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) system debuts just in time for all-important weekend after major soccer tournament ends
"It was a nail-biter," said Adao Juan Felipe, Brazil's deputy of transit infrastructure. "We really pushed, we didn't think having the BRT completed in time for the weekend after the World Cup ended was feasible. It's a credit to all involved."
Saturday, July 12, 2014
"We don't need to pump water to the top in order for the rafts to glide down the slide," said Kansas City, MO, water park official Tom Loughlin. "The urination caused from the fear and anticipation of the ride provides enough water for the inflated crafts to smoothly negotiate the steep descent. It's been a fabulous, and, honestly, unexpected cost saver."
Friday, July 11, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
World Cup: FIFA pressuring ESPN to release percentage of Brazilian rainforest razed to construct eloborate Rio set
Some scientists estimate, simply by viewing the many broadcasts, that the sports network felled up to 35% of the country's jungle canopy to provide the materials for the "Beautiful Set."
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
"I am grateful for the opportunity that the people of Chile have given me," said retired American tennis star Andre Agassi, current head coach of Chile's men's national soccer team. "[Chile] took a chance on a guy that knows nearly nothing about soccer. I mean, I know the whole 'don't use your hands thing.' The team has really embraced my idea of training while gripping a tennis racket. Yep, that's all we do is play tennis using a soccer ball. But, looking at our performance in this World Cup, I'd say it's working."
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
World Cup: ESPN's new soccer ball cameras forcing television viewers to take motion sickness medication
Dramamine purchases every remaining commercial slot for conclusion of tournament. The sports network claims that if players were striking the eight-pound ball correctly, there would be "zero spin," and, thus, a "much more enjoyable experience for the home audience."
Friday, June 20, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Director Marty Di Bergi wants shot at remaking World Cup broadcast player introductions--'the arm folding part'
The This is Spinal Tap director claims his arm folding work in the below clip--specifically, the 0:42 second mark--speaks for itself. "Nothing against FIFA, but I deserve a shot to rework the player intros," said De Bergi.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Concert goers spend entire performance avoiding beach tag checkers at renovated, sandy Festival Pier
At one point during the concert the entire audience entered the Delaware River--scaling a chain link fence in the process--in an effort to avoid paying the $14/day beach tag cost. "I had to go to the bathroom anyway," said one reveler.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Stanley Cup Final: Mark Messier guarantees a game four, not a victory, but just that a game four will be played
The former Rangers captain, who once promised a game six victory over the New Jersey Devils in the 1994 semi-finals, swears he made the guarantee 'before the series even started.'
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Budweiser Clydesdales (and full beer wagon) gracefully pulverize all eight jumps during Devon Horse Show exhibition
The full hitch has never completed a successful jump, but the crew "certainly loves to try each year." Budweiser covers the costs of all needed repairs.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Lazy Gehry? Art Museum's two tower expansion plan nearly identical to famed architect's Bilbao design
The world-renowned architect later admitted: "Okay, okay, yes, I may have borrowed some elements from my Guggenheim design. Okay, alright, it's the exact same concept. Are you happy now? I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling architecture kids, er, students."
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Blake Bortles joining with LeBron James to launch world's first wine cooler sports drink: Bortles & James
The new alcoholic sports beverage will replace depleted electrolytes and give athletes "a pretty good buzz." Television ads will remind consumers to drink responsibly and to have a "designated player."
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
The head coach of the U.S. men's national soccer team, Jurgen Klinsmann, claims he overheard Landon Donovan, a surprise omission from the 2014 World Cup roster, criticize October Fest, Mercedes Benz, BMW, and Volkswagon at a team party a few months ago. "He didn't think I was listening," said Klinsmann, "He told a teammate that beers were too big at Oktoberfest and that Volkswagens handled poorly."
Thursday, May 22, 2014
The festival that celebrates moving art and non-motorized transportation could be held at the Linc for the next five years--but with no mud pit. MetLife Stadium in North Jersey is also courting the vibrant Philadelphia street fair and "promises a very muddy" finish.
|Above: The Coors Light-Xfinity Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby of Lincoln Financial Field?|
Saturday, May 17, 2014
The studio was forced to change the tragic ending already filmed and drop 'Baby' from title to lose the PG-13 rating given by the MPAA. "Also, the title would have been confusing to audiences," said one Disney executive. "It's not a film about pitchers with tiny arms."
Friday, May 16, 2014
Several Braves employees hospitalized after attempting to show new suburban stadium site is 'definitively walkable' from downtown Atlanta
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Brooklyn Nets harshly criticized for wearing 'We Did It: Took the Heat to 5 Games' t-shirts after losing to Miami 4-1
The team said it was "only a joke" and that losing to the Heat was "extremely disappointing." Fans, however, were very upset: "I could see them wearing a shirt like that if the series went six or seven games but not five," said one fan.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
NFL Draft: Scout now sort of wishing he didn't visit Indiana State Corn Museum instead of attending NFL Combine
NFL Combine in Indianapolis at the end of February instead of wandering the lengthy halls of the Indiana State Corn Museum. The scout claimed to have been present at the four-day NFL-hopeful talent showcase extravaganza featuring over 300 athletes participating in nearly seventy-five events. (Even going as far as to tweet from the museum about an athlete's performance.) "I should have gone. Period. The Combine is important and I needed to be there because it's my job. But, the brochure in the hotel lobby was intriguing...it made corn look really fascinating," said the scout, who wanted to remain anonymous. "I was just going to pop in for, like, an hour, but ended up spending three and a half days there. Trust me, I had every intention of showing up at the Combine--but, honestly, did you know that the U.S. produces roughly 40% of the world's corn." During the first two days of the draft at Radio City Music Hall, the scout gave "very general information" when asked to provide a detailed breakdown of a particular player. "I simply named height, weight, place of birth, and favorite movie of the athlete. If asked to elaborate, I would simply repeat the height and weight and add a 'c'mon, now.'"