Saturday, April 28, 2012

Rookie sports reporter loses best-of-seven rocks-paper-scissors matchup, must now cover compelling Predators-Coyotes series

"I knew I should have gone with rock that last round, I totally went against my instincts," said Harold Bentley, a first-year sports reporter with the Flagstaff Daily Times Sentinel in Flagstaff, AZ, referring to a rock-paper-scissors tournament that determined which reporter for the paper would cover the second-round playoff series between the Phoenix Coyotes and the Nashville Predators. "Yay, I'm off to Phoenix and Nashville ... by bus. Yay."

Monday, April 23, 2012

Fenway Park at 100: Groundbreaking participants 'came for the beans'

Above: The formal groundbreaking ceremony for Boston's Fenway Park over 100 years ago. A newspaper report from the day recounted the events: "A loud cheer rose from the crowd on this blustery day not only signaling the beginning of a glorious new base ball grounds, but that it was time for beans. The crowd was promised two generous helpings of Boston's finest beans. The hearty men quaffed the local food like a favorite ale." Pictured above in front row (from left to right): Harry O'Sullivan, Patrick "Two Punches" McShane, John "Three Punches" McShane, Seamus McGillicuddy, Donovan McDonovan, Olan McLauglin, Jack "Knife Fight" Reilly, Shawn "The Sucker Puncher" Smith, Michael Sweeny, Patrick "The Twice Baked Potato" McCallister, Tommy "Top Hat" Gallagher, Christopher "Kick to the Groin" Murphy, Patrick "The Drink" McDonald, Johnny "Let's take this outside ... or stay inside, it doesn't matter to me" Garrity, Kevin Michael "Lager or Ale" O'Reilly, Michael "The Ram" Graham, and Patrick Fitzpatrick.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Morgan Freeman 'appalled' by Penguins dirty play; backs out of deal to narrate team's season highlights

"Penguins don't act like that, I am appalled," Tweeted the Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman minutes after the heated Penguins-Flyers first-round playoff game ended yesterday at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia. "Supposed to narrate Penguins' season, but won't be doing that now. Cannot associate with that stuff. Go Flyers." The actor narrated the award-winning documentary March of the Penguins in 2005.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Report: Coast Guard loses three men while sinking unmanned Tsunami Ghost Ship

Alaska--The ship that has captured the imaginations and attention of millions of people worldwide is now at the bottom of the ocean, but not without paying a steep price. The fishing vessel, referred to as the Tsunami Ghost Ship, took over a year to drift across the vast Pacific Ocean and into U.S. (Alaska) waters after a 9.0 earthquake generated a tsunami that hit the coast of Japan last March pulling tons of debris into the sea. U.S. government officials instructed the Coast Guard to "take out the ghost ship by any means necessary." Officials will not comment beyond saying that the mission went "horribly, horribly" wrong and three brave members of the Guard have been lost. The Coast Guard issued this statement: "They will not be forgotten. They risked their lives to send that unmanned, rusted threat to our national security to sleep with the fishes. We salute you."

Monday, April 9, 2012

Valley Forge Casino Opens: Park reenactors including new slot machines in tales from the encampment

Above: The new Outdoor George Washington Headquarters and Dimes Slot Machines in Valley Forge National Historical Park. Reenactors have been instructed by park officials to include the slots when telling stories of the revolutionary encampment during the harsh winter of 1777-78. "General Washington, after receiving a letter from British-occupied Philadelphia denying the request for more troops, ammunition, and money, rushed from the warm confines of his stone headquarters seeking solace--and possibly financial help--from the slot machines just steps from the entrance," said an animated Valley Forge reenactor Julia Beckworth to the twenty or so tourists gathered in the small farmhouse. "He played the machines for several hours and won enough money to feed and clothe the troops during the brutal winter. And, ladies and gentlemen, you can win, too. Please, exit out the front and try the slots like General Washington did hundreds of years ago."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Every year same debate surfaces as March turns to April: Should spring training batting practice home runs count as regular season statistics?

Tampa, FL--The debate is as old as baseball itself, well, maybe at least as old as spring training itself. Each spring when the snow begins to melt and the color green becomes less of a stranger, baseball fans, players, statisticians, announcers, those not interested in baseball, politicians and most everyone else on the planet argue over the same issue: should baseball spring training batting practice home runs count for regular season statistics? "Listen, I'm not here to argue one way or the other, I'm simply here to say that it is a hot debate each and every year. And, eventually, Major League Baseball will have to address the issue. Whatever they decide," said Terry Bronson, president and sole member of the South Jersey-based group JBIBPIFOADMINRB (Just Because It's Batting Practice in Florida or Arizona Doesn't Mean It's Not Real Baseball), "I'll accept their decision."