Thursday, March 28, 2013

Siren song of the Barclays Center: Devils, Rangers, Knicks moving to Brooklyn

Brooklyn--Move over Nets. Watch your step Islanders. A few new housemates are moving in. The brand new Barclays Center is apparently the place to be these days in the metropolitan New York sporting world.

Several months ago, the Islanders announced they would move from Nassau County to Brooklyn beginning in 2015. The team was unable to secure a new, much-needed facility on the Island. (Technically, Brooklyn is on the western tip of Long Island, so...)

Yesterday, the Devils, Rangers, and Knicks all announced plans to move from their current home arenas to Flatbush Avenue and Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, New York City's most populous borough with 2.5 million people (roughly the same size as Chicago).

The Devils move from Newark may be the most surprising of the three teams given that the Prudential Center, the team's home stadium, was completed only in 2007. The Prudential Center was meant to keep the team in New Jersey for "a friggin' longtime."

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie called the Devils' move "cowardly," but added that his focus was still on Superstorm Sandy recovery. Christie said that once Sandy work was complete he would attempt to lure the Phoenix Coyotes to North Jersey.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Plan to construct skyscrapers surrounding Valley Forge Park moving forward

Valley Forge, Pa.--Wow! It's official. Some how, some way, it's official. A plan that appears to turn the already traffic-clogged King of Prussia area into an skyscraper haven is moving forward. No, we're not talking about one high-rise at the edge of Valley Forge Park. This is a plan to "completely surround" the park with office and residential towers no less than 50 stories in height.

At one time, the 3,500-acre park, known for hosting George Washington's encampment during the brutal winter of 1777-1778, seemed miles from development: a massive open preserved space surrounded by farms. But, the Philadelphia metropolitan area, during its march west, long ago engulfed this area of rolling hills that the first president so coveted for defense purposes from a possible British attack.

The park, which sits in Chester and Montgomery Counties, is surrounded by development especially to the east where King of Prussia's office parks, giant mall, numerous strip malls, Hooters, and California-like highway interchanges are a stone's throw from the historic treasure.

"Valley Forge will now be very similar to New York City's Central Park. That was sort of our goal with this plan. Massive skyscrapers will line the pastoral national historical park on both the Montgomery County side and Chester County side," said Gilbert Van Scott, a real estate developer with LandGrab and Associates, a division of Rolle Siblings.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Rectangular conference room table definitely affected vibe during roundtable discussion

"I don't know," said Russell Ballard, when asked about the atmosphere at the meeting. "I can't say specifically, but it was just ... off. Things weren't flowing like they normally do. I don't know, the whole meeting was just ... different. I can't put my finger on it."

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Document found near Eagles' practice facility calls for 'Voltron approach to free agency'

South Philadelphia--The 32-page document, titled "The Voltron Approach to Free Agency," outlines the franchise's planned approach to signing free agents for the next several offseasons. The paper was found Monday morning on the sidewalk in front of the NovaCare Complex, the team's practice facility, by a fan who turned it over immediately to a local news outlet. "I hang out down by the facility quite a bit," said the fan, who wanted to remain anonymous. "I was riding my bike on the sidewalk, which I know I shouldn't do, and I looked down and saw this manilla envelop with the Eagles logo on it and I knew this had to be something good. An Eagles official probably set it on the roof of their car and then drove off." The plan, written by Howie Roseman, calls for avoiding big-name free agents, but instead urges signing lesser-known free agents; then, join them together to form one "huge and powerful" free agent. "I didn't read the entire thing but on the second page it gets into how to combine the free agents into one player using duct tape and Play-doh," said the fan. Using the Voltron giant super robot as inspiration, the document suggests five players can successfully form one player using "careful balance, unprecedented teamwork, and copious amounts of duct tape." The Birds have thus far stuck to the plan, signing seven free agents, none being of the big-name variety.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Limerick Nuclear Power Plant assures public that bright green Schuylkill River is a St. Patrick's Day stunt, but leaving area 'would not be a bad idea'

Above: A kayaker makes his way along the bright green Schuylkill River near Kelly Drive yesterday. The river was a vivid green from the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant in Montgomery County all the way to Center City Philadelphia, a distance of nearly 40 miles (not including the twists and turns of the river). One power plant official, dressed in full radiation attire, told the public to "relax, but that leaving the area wouldn't be such a bad idea." The nuclear generating station claims the green river is part of a plant-wide celebration of St. Patrick's Day, and a nod to the Irish city of Limerick, in which the Pennsylvania township is named after. "People see a green river starting at a nuclear power plant and they get all crazy," said Larry O'Malley, director of the plant. "We take St. Patrick's Day very seriously here at Limerick Nuclear Generating Station and we decided to dye the river green for this year's celebration. So, please, calm down. However, if you have a friend or relative you could visit in a town three to four hours away from the lower Schuylkill River Valley region, I would advise you to visit that person as soon as is humanly possible. Happy St. Patrick's Day."