"I am grateful for the opportunity that the people of Chile have given me," said retired American tennis star Andre Agassi, current head coach of Chile's men's national soccer team. "[Chile] took a chance on a guy that knows nearly nothing about soccer. I mean, I know the whole 'don't use your hands thing.' The team has really embraced my idea of training while gripping a tennis racket. Yep, that's all we do is play tennis using a soccer ball. But, looking at our performance in this World Cup, I'd say it's working."
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
World Cup: ESPN's new soccer ball cameras forcing television viewers to take motion sickness medication
Dramamine purchases every remaining commercial slot for conclusion of tournament. The sports network claims that if players were striking the eight-pound ball correctly, there would be "zero spin," and, thus, a "much more enjoyable experience for the home audience."
Friday, June 20, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Director Marty Di Bergi wants shot at remaking World Cup broadcast player introductions--'the arm folding part'
The This is Spinal Tap director claims his arm folding work in the below clip--specifically, the 0:42 second mark--speaks for itself. "Nothing against FIFA, but I deserve a shot to rework the player intros," said De Bergi.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Concert goers spend entire performance avoiding beach tag checkers at renovated, sandy Festival Pier
At one point during the concert the entire audience entered the Delaware River--scaling a chain link fence in the process--in an effort to avoid paying the $14/day beach tag cost. "I had to go to the bathroom anyway," said one reveler.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Stanley Cup Final: Mark Messier guarantees a game four, not a victory, but just that a game four will be played
The former Rangers captain, who once promised a game six victory over the New Jersey Devils in the 1994 semi-finals, swears he made the guarantee 'before the series even started.'
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Budweiser Clydesdales (and full beer wagon) gracefully pulverize all eight jumps during Devon Horse Show exhibition
The full hitch has never completed a successful jump, but the crew "certainly loves to try each year." Budweiser covers the costs of all needed repairs.