A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, August 7, 2009
Former Geese driver plunges school bus into river
On Wednesday morning, a former Ride the Geese driver plunged a crowded school bus into the fast-moving Delaware River in Easton, PA. The incident occurred just south of the Northampton St Bridge off of Larry Holmes Dr. The bus was full of day campers heading to the upper Lehigh River for an overnight tubing and camping excursion. None of the twenty-seven children, nor the bus, have been found.
Driver Francis Gilbright began working for the Hecktown, PA-based HeckBus, Inc only two months ago after spending three years in Philadelphia as a Ride the Geese amphibious vehicle driver and tour guide. Three years of driving the streets of Philadelphia and taking the same watertight vehicle into the Delaware River.
"He was a fantastic driver here," said Mallory Barter, manager of Ride the Geese in Philadelphia. "He was well-liked, entertaining, informative and had a spotless driving record."
The devastated Gilbright had avoided talking with the media until yesterday when, through a constant stream of tears and a heckling crowd, he described what had happened.
"I just totally forgot where I was for a minute," said Gilbright, 34, of Hecktown, PA staring incredulously at reporters. "I drove right into the river like it was my job. Those poor kids. I feel like this whole thing is my fault."
After the bus entered the water Gilbright began pointing out landmarks to the screaming children—screams that sounded a lot like quacking/honking whistles to the driver—for several minutes as the bright yellow vehicle floated downstream.
"I was very confused when I drove into the water and there was no Ben Franklin Bridge. Then my reaction was, 'this Goose is leaking,'"said Gilbright. "Then I heard the screams and realized where I was. I was in a regular old school bus. The leaky kind ... in Easton."
The driver told the children—who were all between the ages of 10 and 12—to make their way to the back of the bus toward the emergency exit. Meanwhile, Gilbright, who can not swim and is deathly afraid of water, opened the front door and managed to jump onto a rock protruding from the the river's surface.
Easton, which sits at the confluence of the Lehigh and Delaware Rivers, has often been hit hard by floods in the past. Recent heavy rain storms had placed the two rivers several feet above normal levels, which helped carry the bus quickly downstream where it disappeared roughly ten minutes after entering the water.
It has been reported that this is the second incident involving a river for the young driver while at HeckBus. During his initial driving exam—with no children aboard—he turned down a ramp that emptied directly into the Lehigh River, but stopped several feet short when he realized he was in a school bus. Gilbright reportedly laughed saying to the examiner, "That was a close one. You're not going to count this against me are you?"
Apparently, it was not counted against the driver. HeckBus, Inc did not return phone calls regarding the driver's road test incident.
The company, however, did release a statement last night hinting that Gilbright would either receive special training for non-floating buses or the entire bus fleet would be replaced by amphibious vehicles. Additionally, the bus company, in an effort to help ease the pain of the accident, is giving the victims' families free tickets to Ride the Geese in Philadelphia.
"And they can have all the Goofy Goose whistles they want," said Paul MacGregor, HeckBus, Inc CEO.
Police say they will not charge Gilbright because, "He was a former Geese driver and it was an honest mistake."
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