A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Financial crisis: City to close all outdoor pools over the winter months
Philadelphia--In an effort to cut costs that will save the city millions of dollars, City Council voted unanimously on Friday to close all outdoor pools over the winter months for the first time in 30 years. "We can't afford to spend absurd amounts of taxpayer money to keep outdoor pools open during months of frigid temperatures and ice and snow," said Mayor Michael Nutter. "The pools were never used ... by anyone from December to March. It was silly to keep them open in the first place. Times have changed, we can no longer spend frivolously in an uncertain economic climate."
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