Friday, March 2, 2012

Report: College students increasingly using stapler for single sheet of paper

New York, NY--A recent report by Cooper-Sinclair shows college students across the county are using staples to egregiously fasten a single sheet of paper. "I staple single sheets of paper all the time," said Rebecca Martin, a sophomore at Livingston University in Prendinbury, NJ. "Really, I paid for those staples with my tuition, so whether I have one sheet or 12 sheets of paper I'm going to use the stapler." Livingston University officials say the practice of stapling lone pieces of paper is growing in popularity across their suburban campus of 3,400 students. "I staple single sheets because it tells the world that I don't give a shit," said Brandon Wheaton, 21, a junior. "It says, 'World, your in my world now World.'" Others echoed Wheaton's reasoning:"When I hand in an assignment that is one single paper and I see that staple on the top left, it says, 'We play by my rules, my laws and my world, ironically, is lawless," said Gina Donnelly, 25, an undecided third-year senior. Whatever the reasons for stapling, Livingston U. is desperately attempting to combat the trend with paper clips.

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