A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond.
(All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Monday, December 28, 2015
Year in Review: Mike Piazza talks baseball, infrastructure at Route 23 bridge ribbon cutting ceremony
Schuylkill Township, PA--In early October, the Route 23 bridge over the Pickering Creek opened to automobile traffic after nearly five months of reconstruction. A throng of celebrities and politicians attended the highly anticipated opening of the span, which carries 20,000 vehicles a day. Schuylkill Township's own Mike Piazza, the 12-time All-Star retired MLB catcher, gave the keynote speech at the opening ceremony. "Bridges are like a close play at home plate, they are crucial to communities. Bridges are like an intentional walk, they unite towns. Bridges are like a slider in the dirt that you block to prevent the runner on third from scoring the go-ahead run. But, most importantly, bridges, like baseball, bring us all together," said Piazza, to an estimated crowd of 2,500 onlookers, some sitting on folding chairs atop the adjacent Pickering dam. Former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell lauded the new bridge, then led the lively crowd in the Philadelphia Eagles fight song: Fly, Eagles Fly. Movie director M. Night Shyamalan, who filmed portions of "The Happening" less than a mile east of the bridge in 2007, called the project a great addition to northern Chester County's infrastructure. (Shyamalan is making a documentary on the reconstruction of the bridge that he claims is "way better than 'The Happening' and has a surprise ending.")