A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, August 22, 2008
Bo, Luke, Cooter, Daisy, Jesse joined with Rosco, Boss Hogg, Enos to fight Russians
The Dukes of Hazard admitted yesterday to leading the fight against the Russians after the invasion of Georgia earlier this month. In a surprise move, the Dukes joined forces with the law of of Hazard County, their longtime nemesis.
Uncle Jesse and JD Hogg shook hands and agreed to "rid the county of those Duke boys...I mean, Russians."
"It's amazing what can happen when you put a rag in the end of moonshine bottle, light it, and toss it at a tank," said Luke Duke. "Nowhere is there stronger moonshine than Hazard County. Nowhere!"
The Dukes were also able to take out two Russian Migs by jumping the the General Lee off a dirt-mound ramp and clipping the wings of the low-flying fighter jets. Meanwhile, Cooter climbed under several Russian tanks and drained the engine oil rendering the massive rolling weapons useless.
Factoring in Uncle Jesse's shotgun, Daisy's daisy dukes, and Rosco's dog flash, the Russians were clearly overmatched and never reached the intended target of Atlanta.
"A ga ga gggh," said a giddy Rosco.
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