A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Coatesville arsonist wreaking havoc the old fashion way
The Coatesville,Pa area has been hit with yet another arson fire. The fire on Friday night in a mobile home park was the 23rd arson fire of the year for this city living in fear.
As far as ATF, FBI and Coatesville Police officials can tell the arsonist randomly chooses a property to set fire to in the proximity of this former steel town in rural Chester County. He or she then carries the supplies necessary for lighting the fire to the chosen site. From evidence gathered thus far matches, lighters or lighter fluid, the typical tools of an arsonist, are not used.
This sick and twisted fire-lover is a purist, which is extremely rare for an arsonist. This person uses sticks, bark, dried grass and animal dung to ignite his flames of fury. The FBI is still uncertain as to which animal dung—a fuel for fire in some countries—the arsonist is using, but it shows the qualities of deer or rabbit waste.
Once a spark has come from the twisting and rubbing of sticks, along with the combination of dung and grass, a hand bellow (pictured below) is used to fan the flame into a destructive roar.
"Because this guy is using old methods of fire starting he can spend anywhere from thirty minutes to three hours at the site attempting to start the fire," said FBI agent, Graham Northton.
The long period of time it takes to start the fire should make it easier for witnesses to report or authorities to apprehend the criminal. The boyscout methods, however, make it nearly impossible to trace the items' origins—sticks, bark and dung are not common items in local stores.
"I thought I heard a rubbing noise the other night on the side of the house, so I went to check it out," said Rob Lance, resident of neighboring Caln Township. "There was a a hole in my vinyl siding stuffed with grass and horse [manure] and a stick on the ground with a warm tip."
Authorities feel that the key to catching the arsonist is the hand bellow.
"Some agents feel that stopping the arsonist lies in tracing the dung. We really argue about this because I feel that it's the bellow. If we can get that bellow and talk to local bellow makers than this should be solved," said Northton.
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