Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Mall in the Sky Item: The Garden Yeti—scare your weeds away


Spring is right around the corner and before you know it your garden will be ready for aerating, weeding and planting. Whether you grow flowers, vegetables or carrots your garden needs protecting from mother nature’s natural predators—squirrels, cats, deer, rodents, muskrats, dogs, rabbits, muskmoles and muskraccoons.

You’ve tried the hollowed out, plastic owl for years only to see it become a perch for other birds and covered in grotesque droppings. Sure those droppings find a way to the soil and act as a great natural fertilizer, but the birds constant feeding on your newly planted seeds can devastate a home garden.

Introducing the Garden Yeti Statue: A 365/24/7 watchman for your patch of green paradise. The Garden Yeti was developed by Canadians, perfected by the Mongolians and manufactured by the Chinese.

Though the Yeti doesn’t move (some customers swear it does) it can be difficult to spot. At an unimposing 28 inches and 12 lbs, the Sasquatch can blend in with its surroundings or scare the pellets out of a rabbit or deer.

The Garden Yeti not only watches for unwanted wildlife but also useless plant life such as weeds.

“I did not read the fine print on the box and had no idea the Garden Big Foot prevented weed growth,” said Denise Roberts, 58, of Fox Chase, Pa. “My neighbors all commented on my garden’s lack of weeds last year and I attributed it to the 2,4-dichlorophenoxyacetic acid, my weed killer of choice. All along it was the garden Yeti that was scaring the weeds away.”

Winter takes its toll on your yard. Would you like to replace the old, faded mulch around your trees or gardens? The Yeti will scare old mulch away and provide a safe, comfortable place for your new liquorice root mulch.


As stated previously the Yeti does not move, nor does it make noise or encompass any internal mechanical device. Despite this, government regulations require any yard ornament greater than 10 lbs to use batteries. The Yeti calls for 56 AA batteries, 25 of which are included with your purchase.

The Garden Yeti does need to be registered with your local police department and finger printed as stated in Bill 34RHL873 passed by the United States Congress in May of 2007.

So go ahead, be the talk of your neighborhood and invite this friendly statue into your yard today.

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