A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Softball time: Dobbs to play left center
Losers of 11 of their last 13 games the Philadelphia Phillies, in a desperation move, are planning to field an extra player during today's afternoon game against the Toronto Blue Jays in the once state of the art Rogers Center. The struggling Phils hope that a softball lineup, which includes 10 players (not nine) and is against league rules, will help end the horrid streak that has barely held the team atop the division standings. "We're going to play Dobbs in left center and hope, really hope, that the league does not notice," said Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel. The coach is referring to Phillies' pinch hitter extraodinair from a year ago Greg Dobbs. During his time as manager of the Cleveland Indians Manuel was able to play 10 players in the lineup on several occasions and get away with it, something made easier with the designated hitter rule. Dobbs plans to hide in the bullpen to start the game then quietly scale the wall and sidle in behind Shane Victorino in center field after several pitches. After an out or two Dobbs will slowly walk along the warning track to take his spot as the new left center fielder, hoping that he will blend in with the old SkyDome's backdrop. "I'm hoping they[the umpires] think Dobbs is an extra third base coach or a lost bull pen guy," said Manuel. Manuel is still uncertain how he plans to work Dobbs into the batting order.
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