Staples Center Director to be charged for dropping staples with confetti after Lakers' victory

Los Angeles, CA--On June 17 at the Staples Center, the Lakers captured their 16th NBA title by beating the Boston Celtics in a hard fought seven-game series.

Following the series-clinching victory, an 83-79 come-from-behind rally, confetti began to rain from the rafters in Laker purple, gold and white. Mixed in with the floating, twisting paper, however, were metal staples--an unusual ingredient when recognizing a championship.

Several players and hundreds of fans reported injuries from the paper fasteners soon after the on-court celebration began. Some staples fell with such force that they became lodged in the wood basketball court.

Jack Nicholson was later taken to a local hospital to have over 10,000 staples removed from his back and arms, which were raised to protect his head. "It wasn't pleasant, but it gave me a great idea for a movie," said the actor several days later.

Staples Inc., the office supply store, purchased the naming rights to the Lakers' home arena soon before its completion in 1999. It is believed that the company had no prior knowledge that staples would be part of the arena's post game revelry.

The arena's director, Vance Smithton, 52, is now being charged with over 900 counts of reckless endangerment. It is believed that Smithton came up with the idea to drop staples as a marketing stunt for the office company only days before game seven. Staples Inc. or arena employees did not become alarmed or suspicious when the director ordered 50,000 boxes of staples. (Staples Inc. provides free office supplies to the arena.)

"I really miscalculated this one," said Smithton, before being lightly shoved into the back of an LAPD police car parked in front of the Staples Center. "I just thought dropping staples at Staples Center would be cool. It makes sense. Am I right? Go Clippers."