Mumbai, India--The Taiwanese cargo ship Alba Varda carrying hundreds of containers from India to Long Beach, CA, began listing heavily to the left soon after all sixteen crew members aboard congregated for a cigarette break on the deck's port side. The crew attempted to run to the center, but by this time it was too late. Containers began breaking free from moorings, sliding across the rain-soaked deck and crashing overboard into the harbor. "I told each crew member individually, and made several announcements over the loud speaker, that coming together as a group on either side of the ship simultaneously would cause the ship to tip over," explained Captain Sven Alfredson, a 20-year veteran. "I even demonstrated my point in a canoe." The shipping company is blaming language barriers for the sinking of the vessel, as crews are often made up of numerous nationalities with varying levels of English. "There's no way anything was lost in translation," shouted the Captain. "I increasingly raised the volume of my voice so they would understand me. It's what I always do. Anyway, we had just left the docks and they aren't supposed to be taking breaks that soon into a two-ocean journey,"
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