A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, June 17, 2011
Guy who smashed Vancouver bank windows says he 'totally forgot about camera phones ... and the internet'
Above: During a widespread riot in British Columbia's largest city, a Vancouver resident uses a green hockey stick to shatter the floor-to-ceiling windows of a popular downtown bank after the Canucks lost to the Boston Bruins in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. "As I was hacking away haphazardly," said the unidentified man, "I was like, 'Oh crap, there's a slight chance that someone is filming this right now.' Then, I was like, 'Dammit, the internet.' I totally forgot about the internet." In a move that hoped to bring leniency for his actions, the man went on to say that it was not his hockey stick. The entire nation of Canada has expressed horror over how one of their own citizens could abuse a hockey stick in such a manner.
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