A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Report: Coast Guard loses three men while sinking unmanned Tsunami Ghost Ship
Alaska--The ship that has captured the imaginations and attention of millions of people worldwide is now at the bottom of the ocean, but not without paying a steep price. The fishing vessel, referred to as the Tsunami Ghost Ship, took over a year to drift across the vast Pacific Ocean and into U.S. (Alaska) waters after a 9.0 earthquake generated a tsunami that hit the coast of Japan last March pulling tons of debris into the sea. U.S. government officials instructed the Coast Guard to "take out the ghost ship by any means necessary." Officials will not comment beyond saying that the mission went "horribly, horribly" wrong and three brave members of the Guard have been lost. The Coast Guard issued this statement: "They will not be forgotten. They risked their lives to send that unmanned, rusted threat to our national security to sleep with the fishes. We salute you."
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