A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond.
(All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Popular Jersey Shore ice cream, pizza shops coming to Schuylkill River Boardwalk
Above: Beginning in 2014, frozen custard and pizza legends Kohr Bros and Mack & Manco Pizza will offer scaled-back menus at their new locations along the quickly-rising Schuylkill River Boardwalk, an extension of the overland trail that currently terminates at Locust Street. The two eateries signed seventy-five-year leases, but can opt out of the agreement after five years if a promised Ferris wheel is not erected on the new boardwalk by 2019. "Kohr Bros will be a stand, while Mack & Manco will have a seating capacity of 85," said Francine O'Reilly, director of the Philadelphia Elevated Walkways Over Waterways Association (PEWOWA). "Also, it was going to be a surprise, but, yes, we are making plans to secure and install a small Ferris wheel along the river at some point in the near future." When asked if crowds patronizing the new food establishments would create possible conflicts with walkers, joggers, and cyclists, O'Reilly said probably.