A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond.
(All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Monday, September 29, 2014
Washington Avenue Green: Millennials threaten to boycott new park until 'at least three' pop-up beer gardens installed
Philadelphia--Over the weekend, several hundred Millennials converged on Washington Avenue Green (Pier 53), the new Delaware River waterfront park, to protest the greenspace's lack of a permanent or pop-up beer garden. The peaceful group of 20- and 30-somethings showed up carrying high tables, picnic tables, ping pong tables, large beer glasses, fire pits, corn hole, recycled wood, and kegs of beer...lots of kegs. From these listed parts the "protesters," with surprisingly high-quality design and craftsmanship, constructed a "rogue beer garden" on the park's southern shoreline to demonstrate its potential to "be one with nature but with a malted beverage." The Green, which opened in mid August and was once home to the nation's first navy yard, and later the main immigration station for the city, was planned as a wetlands park and a place for visitors to take in the expansive views of the tidal waterway and distant city skyline. "We wanted to show that while this is a great place to enjoy and observe the natural wonders of where the river meets the shore, this should be done with a great local or regional beer in hand," said Albert Corrigan, vice president of Millennials in Philly (MIP), a group that advocates for "great beer gardens and even better corn hole" in every part of the city.