A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Fan: 'I have a Grambling problem.'
Ted Jones has finally admitted to his problem and that is all his bookie ever wanted. "I was going to confront him at the end of last year, but I decided to hold off to see if he would seek help in the offseason," said Greg Holstrim, Jone's bookie. Jones is a 2002 graduate of Grambling State University in Louisiana and has since relocated to Cherry Hill, NJ. After betting and losing $4,000 on Grambling's first football game, a loss at home to South Carolina State, Jones still did not seek help. "I do not have a Grambling problem," said the consultant at Daniels, Daniels and Ford, LLC in Palmyra, NJ. "It doesn't mean anything that I have bet on Grambling every game, no matter who they are playing, since 2002." Both friends and family finally confronted Jones on Wednesday hoping to thwart a bet for the Tigers' upcoming Saturday game against Northwestern State at home. The Tigers went on to win 38-17 and Jones collected $5,500. "Looking down and seeing all that money I realized I had a Grambling problem ... a serious Grambling problem."
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