Vancouver, B. C.--People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) kept a close eye on Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee officials since the Game's Opening Ceremonies concluded on February 12 th. During the extravagant, three-hour long presentation, several blue whales were spotted at one point "swimming" through the stadium floor.
Crowds cheered as the mammals appeared to spray water through surface-penetrating blowholes and out into the stadium air. The show, claimed IOC officials, was part of a high-tech, multi-billion dollar computer generated imaging program.
"Vancouver officials claimed the whales were generated by computers," said PETA official, Pam Stevenson. "PETA knew something wasn't right. That's why we sent a representative to Vancouver to watch these guys. Somewhere along the line they were going to slip up and we were going to be there when they did."
Yesterday, a PETA intern, Tom Richards, 19, was keeping watch of the BC Place Stadium loading dock from a dumpster across the parking lot. Around 12:31 PM Pacific Time, two of the five large bay doors opened and Richards, between bites of a PETA-butter and jelly sandwich, witnessed a small crane hoisting a lifeless whale.
"What can I say," said a visibly choked up Vancouver Olympic official, Damon Bordent. "This, ah ... is a very embarrassing day for Vancouver and Canada. I'll admit it. We can't hide anymore. We had to use real whales because, let's face it, they can't make computers do what we wanted to do. In our defense, however, we felt we could save one of the three whales. It just didn't work out that way. It's extremely difficult to conceal three rotting, 170-metric ton whales. The smell alone should have been enough to make us turn ourselves in."
PETA looked for clues throughout the games, but ultimately revisited the Opening Ceremony video footage for leads. On February 17th, PETA requested to speak with hockey great Wayne Gretzky.
"Did you see how much he was perspiring during the lighting of the cauldron? He knew something was up. Honestly, that's what really tipped us off," said Stevenson. "That uncontrollable sweat."
Bordent went on to explain that the reason one of the cauldron's legs did not rise properly out of the stadium floor on February 12th was because it had become lodged on one of the whales.
"Wayne [Gretzky] was sweating because we were telling him in his ear piece that 'the leg is caught on one of the whales. Please stand by. The whales are getting hostile,'" said Bordent. "Wayne was instrumental in bringing the whales to Vancouver and we all thought that we were going to be exposed that night, which would have been a nightmare. I am just so thankful and proud that we were not discovered until after the Games were over."
Gretzky did say that he thought the whales were a huge hit and that "when I saw those three beautiful whales and the roar of the audience, it was like I just scored a hat-trick ... a natural hat-trick."
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