A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Dessert-minded Occupy faction breaks away to form Occu-pie
Philadelphia--Wayne O'Brien took two big whiffs of the freshly-baked apple pie resting in his chafed, raw hands. Then, slowly looking skyward, and with a sharp yell, declared, "Occu-pie has now officially begun." The twelve or so people circled around O'Brien began clapping and hooting loudly in support of the announcement. The Ambler, PA native and Philadelphia Culinary School graduate is the leader of a splinter group formed out of the Occupy Philadelphia movement. "We cannot agree with our brothers and sisters concerning the importance of desserts, especially pie, to our nation. It was a difficult choice, but one that had to be made. We are the one percent of the two percent of the 99 percent who realize that pie is what makes the world go 'round. Somehow, pie can create jobs. It has to, it's so good and delicious. We're a small group but a damn strong small group. Stop cutting pie making funding ... if there is such a thing." The city has granted Occu-pie, who plans to leave Dilworth Plaza by Tuesday, a permit to set up inside of the La Columbe cafe across the street.
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