A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond.
(All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Small fishing company that aggressively signed on to raise, tow Costa Concordia admits it 'has no idea where to begin'
Rome, Italy--Crews have (sort of) begun the salvage operation of the Costa Concordia, the Carnival ship that ran aground and capsized off the coast of Italy back in January. Several companies placed bids to raise the massive cruise ship and tow it to a nearby port in order to salvage the useful parts. One local company, with absolutely no experience in nautical salvage work, decided to toss its hat into the ring of bids. "Business is slow right now and we thought that we would give this salvage thing a try," said Giuseppi Fionni, the president of a small fishing company based in Naples, via an interpreter. "We only heard about the ship on a small handheld radio. I had no idea it was this big. I own, like, four 12-ft fishing vessels with outboard motors. We're screwed. This a is a serious ship." A Carnival representative explained the bid choice: "We went with the fishing company because their bid was so ridiculously low. I mean, low, low. Now they're out there just staring at the ship. All they do is circle the ship in small boats. I'm very nervous. They still need to honor the contract."