A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Tsunami Fallout: Body of sumo wrestler washes up on Oregon beach
Astoria, OR--Debris from the March 11, 2011 Japanese tsunami continues to wash ashore along the west coast of the United States after yearlong-plus journeys across the Pacific Ocean--the planet's largest body of water. Discovered items making the arduous trek thus far include: soccer balls, a motorcycle (packed in a case), a concrete dock, an unmanned ship, and now, sadly, the body of a popular sumo wrestler (pictured above). Authorities will not release the identity of the athlete until the family has been notified. "The Japanese consulate in Portland, OR has contacted the U.S. military to secure the use of a C-130 cargo plane to return the body to Japan," said the Oregon State Trooper first to arrive on the scene. Authorities believe the mawashi, the belt worn by a sumo wrestler, fell from the victim's waist during the unforgiving, crushing waters of the tsunami itself.
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