A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Fan: 'I used to call him Cole Hummels.'
Scott Travis, a diehard Phillies fan from Roxborough, may be the happiest fan in the city after the local nine's opening victory over the Brewers in the NLDS. The victory, the team's first playoff win since 1993, was made possible by the brilliant outing of Cole Hamels.
"I used to call him Cole Hummels because he is so fragile like those Hummel statue things. Now I'll call him Cole Hamels," said Travis, referring to the player's battles with injuries and his resulting overcautiousness.
So frustrated with the pitcher's injury problems and unwillingness to throw deep into games that Travis began collecting Hummels—the ceramic figurines—to send to Hamels as an insult.
"I was going to buy a couple and then send them to him, but honestly they make great collectibles," said Travis.
Though he never did send the figurines, Travis admitted to bringing several to a game where he asked Hamels to autograph the base of each one. Travis had planned to heckle the pitcher, but backed off when he realized his size.
"I do remember the guy," said Hamels when asked about Travis,"he asked me to sign a bunch of these tiny statues. They were real fragile and all. He said they were for charity."
Travis' collection has reached 248 Hummels. He chooses two to bring with him for everyhome game he attends. "I buy them a seat to share, but they're not heavy enough to make the seat stay down so I have to bring a brick with me."
Travis said he would never call Hamels Cole Hummels again, even though the playoff victory could hurt the value of his collection.
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