A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Burress changes story: 'It was a glockenspiel not a glock.'
New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress is changing his story. Burress, who allegedly shot himself in the leg at a Manhattan night club on November 29, is now claiming that he was not carrying a Glock, a small handgun, but a glockenspiel.
While it is true that the percussion instrument is a favorite among professional athletes, police have doubts about the players change of story. Some experts have said that Burress will be forced to play the glockenspiel to prove his proficiency to a court.
"Plaxico took up the glockenspiel about a year ago and often takes one to clubs to entertain the crowds. He often calls his glockenspiel his Glock," said the player's agent, Drew Rosenhaus.
And the wound in his leg? Burress says that one of the tuned bars, which he keeps sharpened for looks, pierced his leg while taking the glockenspiel out of his giant pocket.
Burress feels if he wasn't suspended by the Giants he would be ready to play football in a few weeks. How about the instrument?
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to play the glockenspiel again. It's tough. I may have to take up the xylophone."
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