New interpretive signs along Schuylkill Banks tell of the river's rich history

Above: One of seven interpretive signs recently installed along the river in Schuylkill Banks. It reads:

SCHUYLKILL RIVER CLOSE TO BEING NAMED SUSQUEHANNA

An exhausted Theodore Susquehanna sailed up the Schuylkill River in 1679.
He was looking for any river that was unnamed in the Colonies. "You there,
child," he called to a young boy alnog the banks. "Does this river have a name?"
The boy replied, "Yes, sir. Yes, it does."

"Dammit!" shouted Susquehanna. "Pull up the anchors, we're headed south.
I'm tired of this crappe. We're going to Baltimore to visit Stevie Chesapeake,
he'll know what to do. And by god where is that crumpet I asked for!"