A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond.
(All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, November 30, 2012
Toilet paper orientation: over or under? Sign sparks heated debate, confrontation in stands
Above: A disgruntled Eagles fan, who is also a proponent of the over method of toilet paper dispensing, demonstrates his displeasure for the team's putrid season at last Monday's nationally televised game against the Panthers. The sign also taught the fan a lot about the green-clad supporters around him. "I'm definitely an over guy when it comes to toilet paper," said the fan who declined to give his name. "I was very surprised at the reaction from my fellow backers. I've been sitting in this section since the stadium opened in 2003, and I go back years with these guys to Veterans Stadium. We go to the shore together, family functions, you name it. I thought I knew them. So I was shocked by how many were under method toilet paper guys. Those bastards razzed me the entire game about it, we had to be separated. For the record--and I love those guys to death--anyone who uses the under method is an a$$hole. Sorry, it's true."