A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Twirling towels gave flight to many fans in dramatic ninth
Last night's Phillies NLCS game 4 was an instant classic. A "where were you when ..." kind of game. A poster capturing the jubilant player celebration kind of game. The 5-4 victory is burned into memory.
Fans who attended the game reported noise levels well past anything they had ever experienced ... indoors or out. Accompanying the noise, and keeping with Phillies recent tradition, were almost 50,000 red and white courtesy rally towels.
The towels, which the team began giving away in 2007, were meant to add a "visual punch" to the passionate Phillies fans. Most have welcomed and warmed to the towels.
Dr Palo Gouditz, a physicists at the University of Pennsylvania, was at the game and witnessed firsthand the power of the rally towel. Rally towel flight.
"It was a very intense bottom of the ninth inning," explained Gouditz from his University City laboratory. "The towel revolutions per second were at an all time high."
The professor went on to explain that twenty-five overhead revolutions per second were needed to lift a fan from the ground using a standard Fightin' Phillies rally towel. Phillies fans were timed at twenty-nine. He estimates that 80%-85% of the fans actually lifted off the ground an inch or so and the rest were raised to the tips of shoes.
"My whole section was airbourne," screamed Tom Sanders, 44, of Manayunk. "It was so bad ass. It was freakin' cool. Someone call the Wright brothers."
The award-winning professor also went on to explain what would have resulted had every fan in the stadium—46,157 strong—been strapped into their seats with a seatbelt while waving the towels at the same rps. (Standing-room only fans would have been fastened to a pillar or railing.)
"Had the sell-out crowd been anchored to the stadium during that thrilling ninth, in some way, the stadium would have lifted several inches off the ground," said Gouditz. "Had the crowd been able to maintain the waving for an hour or so, the stadium could have been moved closer to Broad Street. Which would be great for subway riders."
The Phillies plan to place small holes in future rally towel give-aways to prevent fan flight.
"We don't want any future rally towel flight for safety reasons. On a side note, moving the stadium closer to the subway station would be great," said a Phillies rep,"but not during a playoff game. And not with cars parked in the adjacent parking lot."
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