A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Americans shocked by tsunami destruction, spelling
Americans are both saddened and in disbelief at the complete destruction of many coastal villages on the island nations of Samoa and Tonga and the American territory of American Samoa by an unforgiving, fast-moving tsunami.
The enormous waves that crashed ashore on Tuesday morning were the result of a 7.9-magnitude earthquake in the South Pacific centered less than 200 miles from the tiny islands. The waves traveled over 500 miles per hour and were felt as far away as California.
The same shocked Americans expressed even greater astonishment at the spelling of the word tsunami. As people gathered around television sets in diners, airports, schools and cafeteria's from Hawaii to Maine news anchors were greeted with blank faces and tilted heads.
Despite the massive 2004 Indonesian tsunami that killed over 200,000 people and, as a result, saw news networks reporting and showing the word on television and computer screens the world over hundreds of thousands of times for months after the event, Americans were still surprised by the "t" at the beginning.
"I was like, 'Where'd that "t" come from?'" said Neal Tomko, 39, of Sacramento, CA. "That word looks crazy with a "t" in the beginning. It looks like TS Unami. Isn't that an author?"
In Chicago's O'Hare Airport a small contingent of waiting passengers surrounded a wall-mounted television near Terminal 2's gate E10 just opposite the crowded Cinnabon. Flashing across the bottom of the screen, on one of the 24-hour news networks, was the headline, "South Pacific Tsunami Report."
A traveler standing in the back of the group, holding a bag of duty-free goods, attempted to explain: "I think the Tsunami Study and Information Center places a 't' in the beginning if they think the giant wave is either treacherous or terrible."
"No, no, no," a nearby passenger interrupted. "The 't' is part of a formula that helps in determining the magnitude of the earthquake that caused the wave. There's an equation or something."
A man flying to Orlando and carrying a box Cinnabons was convinced that the "t" was a plus sign.
Even some directly affected by the tsunami found the idea of a "t" in the word unbelievable.
"No way there's a 't' in tsunami," shouted a surprised Paul Totufulu, a resident of Samoa, from inside his small pickup truck positioned high atop a frail, leaning palm tree.
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