Belgian beer war heats up as Police rule last month's bus crash 'no accident'

Philadelphia, PA--Philadelphia Police have determined that the SEPTA bus crash that took place back on August 10 was not an accident and is apparently an escalation of the "friendly" Belgian beer war that has been ongoing for several years in Center City.

On that night, a passenger-less transit bus, avoiding a parked PATCO vehicle, swerved and jumped the curb, crashing into the side of Monk's Belgian Beer Cafe at 16th and Spruce Streets, one of the city's most popular restaurant/bars. At the time, it was perfectly clear to witnesses and those directly involved that this was simply an accident.

Police, who had all but closed the investigation, however, became suspicious after an anonymous note, dropped at Police headquarters sometime in the past three days, mentioned Tad's Tavern of Belgian Beers, located at 27th and Lombard Streets.

The note read: "Septa bus crash: You didn't hear this from me, but talk to Tad down at Tad's Tavern of Belgian Beers. Tad will break if you threaten his beer bottle collection. Yeah, mention how you like to smash priceless Belgian beer bottles. (wink, wink) Tad'll get real uncomfortable if you mention the bottles."

"Tad's is a Belgian bar and Monks is a Belgian bar," said Detective Gregory Finn. "We didn't see the connection at first, then, after doing some late night under cover work at each establishment, the connection was crystal clear. That, and the anonymous tip. The Belgian beer war just got turned up a notch as these bars are flexing their ... mussels."

The city offers the best selection of Belgian beers in the nation and the bars that make this possible, admittedly, have fun with the competition and camaraderie that comes along with it.

"Philly has the best Belgian beer scene in the country and there is definitely competition between all the bars to be the best," said Daniel Van Glun, manager of The Philly Belgian, a bar on Schuylkill Ave and Webster St. "Sure, we play jokes on each other, like placing waffles in random corners of a rival bar. Or discreetly hanging pictures of Jean Claude Van Damme karate-kinking a piece of chocolate, but ... well, crashing buses is serious stuff."

Tad's Tavern had recently been ranked dead last among the city's Belgian watering holes. It is believed that Tad's Tavern of Belgian Beers paid off the bus driver to "take Monk's out of the picture for a few months." The bar, however, only closed for four days while repairs were made to the front and the building was determined to be structurally sound. Police would not confirm or deny that Tad had similar plans for the other Belgian bars in the elite fraternity.

The driver of the bus reportedly broke under the interrogation of police and confirmed that, indeed, Tad had been responsible for planning the "accident."

"Apparently, Tad had been really pestering this poor guy to do his dirty work," said Lt Frank Greeley about the driver. "Tad is a real piece of work."

Those affiliated with Monk's were in shock after Police broke the news yesterday.

"I couldn't believe that Tad was responsible. Am I going to retaliate against Tad? Well, honestly, I don't condone this kind of violence," said Monk's owner Harry Kilmer. "But, if SEPTA regional rail trains could travel on streets ..."

"Tad is going away for a long, long time," said Monk's bartender Kevin Tyler, "But now I'll have to talk more about the bus crash for a long, long time. I love our customers, but I'm growing so tired of talking about that crash. Thanks Tad."

"Tad just never got it. Whenever Tad and I would hang out and have a couple beers, he would always talk about the week that he spent in Bruges [Belgium] back in '97," said hostess Kimberly Borden. "He would always say that he 'lived' in Belgium for a week. Tad's a good guy, but he just didn't get it."

John Triplehorn, Tad's lawyer, issued this statement: "My client, Tad of Tad's Tavern of Belgian Beers, did, in fact, live in Belgium during the week of July 9-16, 1997."