A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Heatwave forces Rita's to sell Italian Water Water
Official's at Rita's water ice and ice cream shops are unable to produce the ice needed to make water ice during this uncharacteristic and stifling June heatwave and will only be selling Italian water.
"We just can't make the "ice" in water ice right now. We can only sell Italian water during these brutal temperatures," said Dan Glostenoni, owner of a Rita's franchise in University City.
Glostenoni went on to say that the Italian water will be high quality spring water and will be "pretty darn cold and good."
Earlier this week several children cried uncontrollably upon leaving the store and seeing the water ice in their hand enter the liquid state.
"When I look at my cup it reminds me of how the polar ice caps are melting because of our addiction to fossil fuels," said a teary-eyed Madison Frink, 8, while drinking her cherry water ice.
Frink was one of the last customers to be served a water ice. "It's sort of special that my daughter got one of the last water ice during the heatwave," said Debbie Frink.
Rita's plans to begin making it's most popular dessert once the temperature begins to fall. However, Glostenoni said sales of Italian water liquid (as he likes to call it) are very strong in the two days it has been on the menu.
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