Wednesday, October 31, 2012

World Series: Giants fans attempting to kayak from McCovey Cove to Detroit in time for Game 4 just passing under Golden Gate Bridge

The Golden Gate, CA--Seven diehard Giants fans attempting to kayak from San Francisco to Detroit via the Pacific Ocean, Panama Canal, Caribbean Sea, Atlantic Ocean, St Lawrence River, and two Great Lakes, admit they egregiously misjudged the time frame of the perilous voyage.

"We were kayaking in McCovey Cove for Games 1 and 2, and after the final out of that second game, we just decided to start paddling for Detroit. We were definitely drunk--wasted, actually--but we thought we had a real chance to make it by Game 4. We concluded very quickly that making Game 3 was out of the question. But, if we buckled down and didn't stop to go to the bathroom and stuff like that, then we could attend Game 4 in Michigan."

Haphazardly, the seven 30-somethings, who all met at the University of San Francisco, declined to purchase any supplies for the trip, only taking the eight beers and half bag of Cheetos secured in a floating cooler trailing one of the personal watercraft on a five-foot piece of tangled fishing line. They pledged to "live off what the sea provided." Three of the seven men did not have paddles and one "kayak" was simply a series of straps and large bread bag ties connecting 12 life jackets together.

After incorrectly taking a right (south), at the entrance to McCovey Cove following the game, the group righted course and headed north in San Francisco Bay, finally passed under the famous bridge this morning where they unanimously agreed to terminate the voyage, dry their orange sweatpants, and head to the closest Johnny Rockets.

"That's a freakin' long trip, dude," said Silicon Valley employee, Brett Smith. "I looked at a map when I got back to my place, and that is, like, a ridiculously long trip. I don't know what we were thinking. We missed out on the win and the celebration. What can I say, we had an awful lot of beers in the Cove."

The Giants completed a World Series sweep on Sunday night in the Motor City, while seven of their fans took nearly four days to kayak what should have been nine miles and a 3-4 hour trek.

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