A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Dog Racing track included in Amer. Revolution Center Deal at Valley Forge
Sometimes it pays to read the fine print in an agreement. This is what officials of Lower Providence Township are thinking this morning after a deal was reached in the wee hours last night to construct the American Revolution Center on the north side of Valley Forge Park(north side of the Schuylkill River).
What officials did not read was that the deal allowed for a 200 acre dog racing track adjacent to the museum. "It was late and we were all so tired and there were only a few pages left to review in the 200 page document, but the ARC representatives assured us there was nothing important or any surprises on those pages, we were all just so darn tired," said a gloomy Tom Atwater, vice chairman of the chair commitee of Lower Providence. "There's virtually nothing we can do now about the track, as we all signed the agreement."
The ARC reps were glowing after the meeting some even taunting the township officials by pointing and saying,"gotchya." "This was a huge victory for the ARC. We will have the museum, conference center, hotel, 2 small commercial spaces, and now the dog track, the centerpiece of the deal," announced an excited Steve Mensher, ARC property chair.
Mensher admitted that he urged the proposal writers to "put the bit about the dog track all the way in the back of the document."
Shelly Hoppell, another ARC rep, hinted that George Washington would have loved dog racing if the sport had existed at the time.
Many township residents opposed both the hotel and conference center, but were outraged by the track. "I am shocked and appalled that the ARC would do such a thing to our grand park, but I will be frequenting the track," said Jim Saylorville, of Audubon Ave in Audubon.
The ground breaking ceremony will be October 7 for the track. ARC Reps stated that the track should be constructed first in the case that funding problems arise. "This way the track is up and running and if the other buildings in the plan never make it then it's no big deal," Mensher added.
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